Walmart Bingo is fun for the whole family and gives you something to do as you wander through a sea of People of Walmart!
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Monday, September 24, 2012
Walmart Bingo card
While I can't claim to have come up with this Walmart Bingo card (mine wold have fewer, hopefully zero misspellings), I do have to say that it's pure genius and that I've seen at least half of these instances happen at the local Walmart which I unfortunately visit about once every five weeks. Print this out and next time you have to visit the bottom rung of the retail world you'll have something to occupy your time...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Extreme Couponing showcases grocery hoarding
Tonight was the premiere episode of yet another reality/documentary series on cable channel TLC (remember when it used to be "The Learning Channel"?) entitled Extreme Couponing. The premise is as simple as it sounds -- a camera crew follows a couple coupon clipping psychos around as they prefer for one mammoth grocery shopping trip. The preparation -- usually scouring seemingly endless stacks of coupons from Sunday newspapers, itemizing their shopping list complete with quantities of each item and even going as far as one woman's compulsion leading her to have a spreadsheet detailing each and every item her favorite grocery store stocks and where the items are located within the store is showcased.
All of this borderline insane preparation leads to the big trip. The two women I saw showcased tonight ended up filling a minimum of four shopping carts each. The quantities of items purchased were either totally impressive of straight up insane. Dozens of packages of cold cuts, dozens of boxes of cereal and even 60-plus bottles of mustard.
Yeah, 60 bottles of mustard. That one sort of jumped off the screen at me. Unless you are literally eating a bowl of mustard for dessert with a meal once a week -- as a family -- there is no conceivable way that a family of five would use that much mustard in a lifetime. During the 8 or so warm months in Minnesota, I tend to grill 4-5 meals a week which means brats, hamburgers or weiners for approximately a third of those meals. Even with that kind of frequency I have only used two bottles of mustard in the past six years. That's where the hoarding aspect of Extreme Couponing began to become obvious to me.
These women put 6-10 hours into just the planning of their grocery shopping trips. Then there's the time spent actually gathering the massive quantities of each item into their train of grocery carts. But the big sticking point for me, personally, is the fact that the checkout process takes between one and two hours. If I did this at the local Cub Foods I'd probably have my tires slashed because the thousands of people waiting to check out would have one less checkout to go through -- for an hour or two. Once they return home, the hoarding aspect again becomes obvious -- they have entire rooms where they store their hauls. Having 2-plus dozen bottles of laundry detergent stockpiled seems ridiculous. Buying 50 or so cups of yogurt at a time is almost wasteful and to the woman who purchased 26 packages of cold cuts -- donate a few of those to your local food shelf.
I applaud anyone who can manage to save 90-99% on their food costs -- and to me doing that once a year would likely give me a raging hard-on because I hate spending money -- but this goes beyond extreme couponing and extreme savings, it comes down to buying massive quantities to prove something to yourself and even show off to those around you. It makes me a little angry to think that even some of the food they purchase may go to waste but this is America, the land of excess, and if a family of five feels the need to come home with five carts of groceries for six bucks, so be it because getting a rain check for another 20 cups of yogurt is definitely a first world problem.
All of this borderline insane preparation leads to the big trip. The two women I saw showcased tonight ended up filling a minimum of four shopping carts each. The quantities of items purchased were either totally impressive of straight up insane. Dozens of packages of cold cuts, dozens of boxes of cereal and even 60-plus bottles of mustard.
Yeah, 60 bottles of mustard. That one sort of jumped off the screen at me. Unless you are literally eating a bowl of mustard for dessert with a meal once a week -- as a family -- there is no conceivable way that a family of five would use that much mustard in a lifetime. During the 8 or so warm months in Minnesota, I tend to grill 4-5 meals a week which means brats, hamburgers or weiners for approximately a third of those meals. Even with that kind of frequency I have only used two bottles of mustard in the past six years. That's where the hoarding aspect of Extreme Couponing began to become obvious to me.
These women put 6-10 hours into just the planning of their grocery shopping trips. Then there's the time spent actually gathering the massive quantities of each item into their train of grocery carts. But the big sticking point for me, personally, is the fact that the checkout process takes between one and two hours. If I did this at the local Cub Foods I'd probably have my tires slashed because the thousands of people waiting to check out would have one less checkout to go through -- for an hour or two. Once they return home, the hoarding aspect again becomes obvious -- they have entire rooms where they store their hauls. Having 2-plus dozen bottles of laundry detergent stockpiled seems ridiculous. Buying 50 or so cups of yogurt at a time is almost wasteful and to the woman who purchased 26 packages of cold cuts -- donate a few of those to your local food shelf.
I applaud anyone who can manage to save 90-99% on their food costs -- and to me doing that once a year would likely give me a raging hard-on because I hate spending money -- but this goes beyond extreme couponing and extreme savings, it comes down to buying massive quantities to prove something to yourself and even show off to those around you. It makes me a little angry to think that even some of the food they purchase may go to waste but this is America, the land of excess, and if a family of five feels the need to come home with five carts of groceries for six bucks, so be it because getting a rain check for another 20 cups of yogurt is definitely a first world problem.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Why Black Friday is bad
If you caught any news at all from the middle of last week until today you likely heard something about Black Friday. It traditionally marks that magical day when retailers finally sell us stupid Americans enough crap to finally have their finances for the year in the black (they have finally turned a profit). Every year poll results are posted tallying what the average American family plans on spending on Christmas shopping and how those numbers relate to previous years and every year you're likely to find a wide variance of results. One TV network says spending will be up slightly, another network says Americans won't take the clamps off their wallets for any reason whatsoever.
But what does Black Friday mean for Joe and Susy American? Do we ever see the benefits from rabid spending for 1/12th of the calendar year? I suppose that if you work in retail you'll likely see longer hours which would result in a couple of bigger paychecks but for the other 11/12ths of the year -- especially January -- those paychecks are far smaller than for the month of December. That's because people are spending like normal humans, they aren't buying crap for every member of their extended family. The month of January is particularly lackluster because the majority of overspending Americans are receiving those credit card bills form their spending orgy a month earlier.
Sure, the uptick in retail sales helps manufacturers but does it benefit Americans? Do yourself a favor and check out where a few of those bigger Christmas gifts you are giving are made. If you bought a TV or Blu-Ray player I'd assume it was manufactured in China. I'd be utterly flabbergasted if it were actually manufactered in America but stranger things have happened.
It's even worse if you're buying Christmas-related goods. All of those Christmas ornaments lining the aisles of your local Target or Walmart were probably made in China. I learned this as I pulled what seemed like hundreds of ornaments from boxes Saturday evening and hung them on the old Christmas tree. Nearly every ornament with a sticker attached said "Made in China". There's the first problem. The companies, at the very top, are probably based in America but our country definitely does not benefit from those potential manufacturing jobs because we've instead paid the wages of a sweat shop full of indentured workers somewhere in China. I fail to see how that benefits anyone but the CEOs who shipped those jobs overseas to line their own pcokets.
Lastly, Black Friday does little to further the giving spirit. Honestly folks, are you really going to give your big sister that 46" 3D LED TV you hulked in to your shopping cart inside Best Buy at 4 AM last Friday as you kicked your fellow shoppers in the shins because you saw it first? Probably not. I am not going to claim to be all high and mighty either because I'd buy the TV for myself just like you but in the end I have no use for that particular TV so I wouldn't be buying it anyhow. Sure, I'd love to have it but I already have a perfectly useable HDTV in my living room that will outlast half of the crap lining store shelves today. Black Friday essentially cons us in to buying big ticket items -- mainly electronics -- under the guise of giving to others but we all know that this stuff, all charged to our credit cards, is really going to end up in our entertainment centers as we throw the previous generation of TV or DVD player out on the curb because newer is always better -- regardless of how long it takes us to pay off.
But what does Black Friday mean for Joe and Susy American? Do we ever see the benefits from rabid spending for 1/12th of the calendar year? I suppose that if you work in retail you'll likely see longer hours which would result in a couple of bigger paychecks but for the other 11/12ths of the year -- especially January -- those paychecks are far smaller than for the month of December. That's because people are spending like normal humans, they aren't buying crap for every member of their extended family. The month of January is particularly lackluster because the majority of overspending Americans are receiving those credit card bills form their spending orgy a month earlier.
Sure, the uptick in retail sales helps manufacturers but does it benefit Americans? Do yourself a favor and check out where a few of those bigger Christmas gifts you are giving are made. If you bought a TV or Blu-Ray player I'd assume it was manufactured in China. I'd be utterly flabbergasted if it were actually manufactered in America but stranger things have happened.
It's even worse if you're buying Christmas-related goods. All of those Christmas ornaments lining the aisles of your local Target or Walmart were probably made in China. I learned this as I pulled what seemed like hundreds of ornaments from boxes Saturday evening and hung them on the old Christmas tree. Nearly every ornament with a sticker attached said "Made in China". There's the first problem. The companies, at the very top, are probably based in America but our country definitely does not benefit from those potential manufacturing jobs because we've instead paid the wages of a sweat shop full of indentured workers somewhere in China. I fail to see how that benefits anyone but the CEOs who shipped those jobs overseas to line their own pcokets.
Lastly, Black Friday does little to further the giving spirit. Honestly folks, are you really going to give your big sister that 46" 3D LED TV you hulked in to your shopping cart inside Best Buy at 4 AM last Friday as you kicked your fellow shoppers in the shins because you saw it first? Probably not. I am not going to claim to be all high and mighty either because I'd buy the TV for myself just like you but in the end I have no use for that particular TV so I wouldn't be buying it anyhow. Sure, I'd love to have it but I already have a perfectly useable HDTV in my living room that will outlast half of the crap lining store shelves today. Black Friday essentially cons us in to buying big ticket items -- mainly electronics -- under the guise of giving to others but we all know that this stuff, all charged to our credit cards, is really going to end up in our entertainment centers as we throw the previous generation of TV or DVD player out on the curb because newer is always better -- regardless of how long it takes us to pay off.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
What to do with Brookdale
It's finally and officially closed. The biggest joke of Twin Cities regional shopping malls has shut its doors but now the question has turned to "What do we do with Brookdale?" I may not be the best guy to ponder the multitude of answers because I'm from the opposite end of the Twin Cities but Brooklyn Center isn't exactly an impressive place when Brookdale was the retail center of the community. Beginning right at its logo, the mall seemed to be a bit of a joke - especially in the seven years I've lived here. Every televised promotion I saw for Brookdale seemed rather low rent or even ghetto in nature (the crappy boy band concert-turned-riot didn't help matters). While that may have been an accurate portrayal of what the mall represented it isn't exactly the image you want to portray to attract a wide swath of the population.
And that failure to attract a wide swath of the population at least in part contributed to the mall's downfall. That and the fact that the mall was essentially a hangout for gangs, thugs and lowlifes - that doesn't exactly help to draw families looking to shop.
But the big question now is "What do we do with a huge, vacant building in the middle of a first-ring suburb?" Ideally, this huge space would be developed in to something actually useable for the community as a whole. Realistically, because it's basically a building that will have to be demolished sitting on a huge, paved piece of real estate, the former Brookdale will sit and crumble as it goes through a vicious and endless cycle of defaults and foreclosures. Maybe, after about twenty years of this cycle, it will end up in the hands of the city of Brooklyn Center itself and then it can become a community gathering place (not a mall) where families can congregate. Maybe it could truly be a center for the community but that's a lot of utopian wishful thinking on my part. Hell, do people actually associate with others in public anymore?
There's also a lot of talk about the Brookdale site being perfect for a new Minnesota Vikings stadium. The only problem is that the current owner/developer would demand a price for this shit hole that would make potential buyers wonder if millions of tons of gold sat just beneath the cracked and crumbling asphalt of the parking lot. Sure, it has decent freeway access and is truly a huge piece of property but there's another huge piece of property perfect for a new Vikings stadium - it's called the Metrodome.
If given free reign, though, what would your dream consist of for redeveloping the now shuttered Brookdale site? A park, a transit station, a new urban center/downtown development? Have at it.
When you're done, click on over to MinnPics and see what the latest photographic treasure of Minnesota has been found for your enjoyment!
And that failure to attract a wide swath of the population at least in part contributed to the mall's downfall. That and the fact that the mall was essentially a hangout for gangs, thugs and lowlifes - that doesn't exactly help to draw families looking to shop.
But the big question now is "What do we do with a huge, vacant building in the middle of a first-ring suburb?" Ideally, this huge space would be developed in to something actually useable for the community as a whole. Realistically, because it's basically a building that will have to be demolished sitting on a huge, paved piece of real estate, the former Brookdale will sit and crumble as it goes through a vicious and endless cycle of defaults and foreclosures. Maybe, after about twenty years of this cycle, it will end up in the hands of the city of Brooklyn Center itself and then it can become a community gathering place (not a mall) where families can congregate. Maybe it could truly be a center for the community but that's a lot of utopian wishful thinking on my part. Hell, do people actually associate with others in public anymore?
There's also a lot of talk about the Brookdale site being perfect for a new Minnesota Vikings stadium. The only problem is that the current owner/developer would demand a price for this shit hole that would make potential buyers wonder if millions of tons of gold sat just beneath the cracked and crumbling asphalt of the parking lot. Sure, it has decent freeway access and is truly a huge piece of property but there's another huge piece of property perfect for a new Vikings stadium - it's called the Metrodome.
If given free reign, though, what would your dream consist of for redeveloping the now shuttered Brookdale site? A park, a transit station, a new urban center/downtown development? Have at it.
When you're done, click on over to MinnPics and see what the latest photographic treasure of Minnesota has been found for your enjoyment!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Are malls yesterday's news?
The Twin Cities are littered with malls. Off the top of my head I can think of Rosedale, Southdale, Ridgedale, Brookdale, Burnsville Center, Mall of America, Eden Prairie Center and a whole host of lesser malls including Knollwood, Northtown Mall and newer outdoor retail complexes like those in Maple Grove and Coon Rapids. Of course there are even worse attempts at shopping malls in the Twin Cities like the former Priordale in Prior Lake which has been redeveloped nicely as a strip mall and a still delapidated but somehow alive Shakopee Town Square. Hell, most every suburb probably has something billed as a mall somewhere in the city and chances are that it is hurting.
Even in Minnesota, the trend seems to be to take it outside. A forced sense of urbanism with outdoor sidewalks and barely navigable streets is what is currently cool. It's supposed to be the rebirth of the downtown but I know better. To me it's still a shopping center because we've been trained to think what downtowns are. They feature a lack of parking but these new "downtowns" have sprawling parking lots much like the malls of old. But these new lifestyle centers, as developers call them, work. It makes sense because they seem to have damn near every name in retail one could think of.
The one in Coon Rapids is particularly troubling to me. It spans multiple blocks and while I avoided entering its tangle of so-called streets, it was a madhouse of spending - even late on a Thursday afternoon. I'm not familiar with that area of the Twin Cities but I'm betting that its construction left more than a few vacant storefronts elsewhere in town.
And if you think this is just a metro problem you are dead wrong. Back in my old hometown, good ole' drug-ridden, illegal immigrant-filled Austin, MN, the mall which at one time I'm told was actually prosperous now contains two anchor stores and probably less than a dozen smaller stores. I remember at one time the freeway-facing signage advertised over 60 stores but I don't ever remember seeing it full. Even its "food court" - containing only two restaurants - sucks. It, too, fell victim to big box development and lifestyle centers but on a smaller scale. With a K-Mart built across the street in the 1990s and a Target built across the highway later that same decade, the nails were positioned, all somebony needed to do was pound them in to the coffin.
Then came a Super Walmart a couple years ago. Even from nearly 100 miles away I could hear the pounding of those nails. The coffin was closed and it took K-Mart with it this year. Last year they lost a Cash Wise Foods grocery store. A Rainbow Foods store, circa late 1990s So, much like Brookdale Center and other now-doomed malls, hundreds of thousands of square feet of retail space stand vacant. Grass slowly growing through the cracking pavement as a couple vehicles sit parked marked for sale by the owners.
So maybe the American love affair with malls is done. They had a nice fifty year run. And maybe it's finally been realized that we, as a country, are simply over-retailed. Redundant businesses are shuttered all the time - take note of Snyders Drug Stores - they are gone but CVS is building in every other city now. Maybe its all cyclical and these malls will again be bustling in ten years as someone thinks up a new use. Or maybe the owners, failing to look forward, will end up with millions of square feet of once viable retail space on the auction block as cities deal with massive, neglected eyesores on prominent highways for all travelers to see. What to do, what to do?
Join in a discussion of the recent foreclosure sale of Brookdale Center and read up on Brookdale's checkered past.
While you're at it, check out the photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.
Even in Minnesota, the trend seems to be to take it outside. A forced sense of urbanism with outdoor sidewalks and barely navigable streets is what is currently cool. It's supposed to be the rebirth of the downtown but I know better. To me it's still a shopping center because we've been trained to think what downtowns are. They feature a lack of parking but these new "downtowns" have sprawling parking lots much like the malls of old. But these new lifestyle centers, as developers call them, work. It makes sense because they seem to have damn near every name in retail one could think of.
The one in Coon Rapids is particularly troubling to me. It spans multiple blocks and while I avoided entering its tangle of so-called streets, it was a madhouse of spending - even late on a Thursday afternoon. I'm not familiar with that area of the Twin Cities but I'm betting that its construction left more than a few vacant storefronts elsewhere in town.
And if you think this is just a metro problem you are dead wrong. Back in my old hometown, good ole' drug-ridden, illegal immigrant-filled Austin, MN, the mall which at one time I'm told was actually prosperous now contains two anchor stores and probably less than a dozen smaller stores. I remember at one time the freeway-facing signage advertised over 60 stores but I don't ever remember seeing it full. Even its "food court" - containing only two restaurants - sucks. It, too, fell victim to big box development and lifestyle centers but on a smaller scale. With a K-Mart built across the street in the 1990s and a Target built across the highway later that same decade, the nails were positioned, all somebony needed to do was pound them in to the coffin.
Then came a Super Walmart a couple years ago. Even from nearly 100 miles away I could hear the pounding of those nails. The coffin was closed and it took K-Mart with it this year. Last year they lost a Cash Wise Foods grocery store. A Rainbow Foods store, circa late 1990s So, much like Brookdale Center and other now-doomed malls, hundreds of thousands of square feet of retail space stand vacant. Grass slowly growing through the cracking pavement as a couple vehicles sit parked marked for sale by the owners.
So maybe the American love affair with malls is done. They had a nice fifty year run. And maybe it's finally been realized that we, as a country, are simply over-retailed. Redundant businesses are shuttered all the time - take note of Snyders Drug Stores - they are gone but CVS is building in every other city now. Maybe its all cyclical and these malls will again be bustling in ten years as someone thinks up a new use. Or maybe the owners, failing to look forward, will end up with millions of square feet of once viable retail space on the auction block as cities deal with massive, neglected eyesores on prominent highways for all travelers to see. What to do, what to do?
Join in a discussion of the recent foreclosure sale of Brookdale Center and read up on Brookdale's checkered past.
While you're at it, check out the photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Shopping and the weather in Minnesota
Sadly, my weekend plans involve shopping at some point. And by shopping, I mean sitting in the car while my old lady meanders through a variety of stores that hold absolutely no interest to yours truly. I don't mind shopping - if I'm by myself but if it's my old lady stopping every twelve feet to him and haw over something that's the polar opposite of what we set out to purchase - then we have a problem.
As of this past week, the weather, too, threw a bit of a wrench in to the relative ease of shopping. It's to be expected, each year the sudden change (read: snow) in the weather catches us off guard. I was hoping to push through to late January with a snowless winter so I wouldn't have to buy new tires for the car I inherited from my old lady. That didn't pan out with the somewhat unexpected showfall that blanketed the state earlier this week. With that came cold weather. Weather cold enough that stepping outside and trudging through a packed parking lot while dodging inconsiderate assholes who can't even be troubled to crane their necks backward before backing out of their parking spot at Mach 5 speed is a pain to say the least.
Factor in me pushing a stroller complete with a little girl who's still screaming because she is paying me back for strapping her in to her car seat through those earlier-mentioned parking lots which I forgot to mention are half-plowed at best and you can see why I have opted more and more to, like my dad, sit in the car while either waiting impatiently and scanning the radio dial or napping. More and more in this area I am turning in to my dad - bushy gray sideburns and bi-focals can't be far off now.
But what really chaps my ass is the fact that the closest reprieve from this fabulous, toe-numbing weather is about four months off. Throw in the forecast that I noticed for Saturday and
you have a recipe rife for my head blowing completely off. See that shit?!? A LOW of 15 degrees - not entirely intolerable as I'm beginning to adjust to having permanently cold feet but that precipitation - a WINTRY MIX. How is that even possible? It's going to be a whopping fifteen degrees. That's an entire 17 degrees below freezing. A wintry mix? What? That's the kind of crap that makes me want to move to either Arizona or Canada. On one hand, you'd never have to deal with that crap - on the other hand the drivers in Canadia are so used to it that it wouldn't even phase them. But in the end I'll stick it out because I really don't plan on pushing a stroller through an asshole-filled parking lot anytime soon and with my new tires getting to work suddenly got a bit easier.
Now if only we can dodge that chance of a wintry mix on Saturday night. Oh, did I mention that it's a whoppingly-huge 20% chance? Which means that there's an 80% chance it WON'T happen? Why even mention it? Hell, on any given day there's a 20% chance I'll accidentally put on my old lady's panties while getting dressed but I don't post that prediction on a website - well until now.
Rather than complain about the weather constantly, I also, at time, revel in it. Check out the latest photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.
As of this past week, the weather, too, threw a bit of a wrench in to the relative ease of shopping. It's to be expected, each year the sudden change (read: snow) in the weather catches us off guard. I was hoping to push through to late January with a snowless winter so I wouldn't have to buy new tires for the car I inherited from my old lady. That didn't pan out with the somewhat unexpected showfall that blanketed the state earlier this week. With that came cold weather. Weather cold enough that stepping outside and trudging through a packed parking lot while dodging inconsiderate assholes who can't even be troubled to crane their necks backward before backing out of their parking spot at Mach 5 speed is a pain to say the least.
Factor in me pushing a stroller complete with a little girl who's still screaming because she is paying me back for strapping her in to her car seat through those earlier-mentioned parking lots which I forgot to mention are half-plowed at best and you can see why I have opted more and more to, like my dad, sit in the car while either waiting impatiently and scanning the radio dial or napping. More and more in this area I am turning in to my dad - bushy gray sideburns and bi-focals can't be far off now.
But what really chaps my ass is the fact that the closest reprieve from this fabulous, toe-numbing weather is about four months off. Throw in the forecast that I noticed for Saturday and
you have a recipe rife for my head blowing completely off. See that shit?!? A LOW of 15 degrees - not entirely intolerable as I'm beginning to adjust to having permanently cold feet but that precipitation - a WINTRY MIX. How is that even possible? It's going to be a whopping fifteen degrees. That's an entire 17 degrees below freezing. A wintry mix? What? That's the kind of crap that makes me want to move to either Arizona or Canada. On one hand, you'd never have to deal with that crap - on the other hand the drivers in Canadia are so used to it that it wouldn't even phase them. But in the end I'll stick it out because I really don't plan on pushing a stroller through an asshole-filled parking lot anytime soon and with my new tires getting to work suddenly got a bit easier.Now if only we can dodge that chance of a wintry mix on Saturday night. Oh, did I mention that it's a whoppingly-huge 20% chance? Which means that there's an 80% chance it WON'T happen? Why even mention it? Hell, on any given day there's a 20% chance I'll accidentally put on my old lady's panties while getting dressed but I don't post that prediction on a website - well until now.
Rather than complain about the weather constantly, I also, at time, revel in it. Check out the latest photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The tale of the $1.56 jeans
We all know that times are tough. It's especially evident when in the course of one day I lose the match portion of my 401(k) and Chrysler plans to file for bankruptcy. But even during tough economic times, it's still not socially acceptable to stroll about without pants.That is why, as I rushed through Target yesterday to get a package of diapers which will soon be full of pee and poop, I stopped to scope out what sort of trendy threads were on clearance in the store's men's department.
It's a little know fact that I can never have enough denim. I wear jeans at least five days a week. It's a perk of my job that I haven't yet had to sell my soul and sport dress pants and I like at least that part. Comfortable and stylish jeans are hard to come by. Levi's, in general, suck in both departments. Even though they are manufactured in China, they are still tops in quality. The best part about Target is that they sell a made-just-for-them label of Levi's that are actually more stylish than standard off-the-rack Levi's at JC Penney or Kohl's stores.
I rummaged through a small pile of denim which was a mix of Mossimo, Merona and Levi's jeans and grabbed three pairs - one of each brand - all in my size.
The first one, Merona, were too loose.
The second pair, Mossimo, were too tight.
The third pair, Levi's, were just right.
(and if you're wondering my size, it's 33/34x34 - no, I'm not square)
I don't have to elaborate any more on this painfully boring story to tell you that the Levi's were 75% off the 75% off price bringing them down to the price of a 20 oz. bottle of soda - $1.56. When the hell was the last time you paid under two bucks for an actual brand name item of clothing?
Why go to a museum when you can see photos of the same quality at MinnPics? Go. Now. Or a kitten will die.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
How to I.Q. profile retail employees
This entry, from last summer, ties in nicely with yesterday's Walmart rant. I recommend reading it and elaborating about how you shop...
Forgive me, but I was at the local Wal-Mart late yesterday afternoon. Yes, after years of vowing that I wouldn't become a Wal-Mart shopper, I have done just that because the grocery selection in Shakopee sucks. Ever since losing our Rainbow Foods Fresh Store, the only alternative is Cub which contrary to popular belief isn't actually cheap but only presents itself as such.
So, there I was, after 20 minutes of barreling through aisles crowded with the bottom rung of society I had found my way to the checkouts. Yes, it only took me twenty minutes to shop because I actually know what I need when I go grocery shopping unlike these indecisive types who also failed their class in Shopping Cart Etiquette 101 (hug the shelves with your cart and keep moving, fuckers).
The checkouts at Wal-Mart are an adventure. There is always at least one of the Shakopee store's eight express lanes open but these are reserved for folks with less than twenty items. Never mind the fact that the 15 or so people waiting might have a collective I.Q. of 12 based on their overflowing shopping carts containing hundreds of items each.
Another popular choice is the long lines at the self-checkouts. These are not even an option for me because the people ahead of me in the queue line can never manage to successfully scan and bag two items in succession, much less their entire cart-o-crap and then there's the whole matter of a paycheck. They don't pay me to scan and bag my own crap so it's a no go Wally.
That leaves me with the standard checkouts. I believe that the Shakopee Super Wal-Mart is home to no less than 36 checkouts. At peak times, such as 5:10 PM on a Wednesday afternoon, six of them can be found open. Of course this 1:6 ratio isn't entirely pathetic. It could be a 1:12 ratio. The big problem here is that these shoppers, as inbred as the outwardly appear, know how to fan out. They migrate to the "hard goods" side of the checkouts with their carts full of ice cream and juice boxes and stack up eight people deep.
That leaves me scoping out the situation. This is where my patented "checkout employee I.Q. profiling method" is trotted out.
If said checker is sloppily dressed, I pass. If said checker breathing heavily, wedged precariously in the checker cubicle and can be smelled from a distance of ten-plus yards, I pass. What I truly seek out is that one checker who is a fucking machine. The person who is faster than the electronic beeps coming from their register.
Even entering a longer line here will net you a shorter wait time. If Sally the SUV driving Soccer Mom has four screaming children in tow and a cart full of everything from Golden Delicious Apples to zip-up diapers, you still stand to win.
And win I did. This girl running her checkout with the utmost precision and speed rocketed through my purchases. She dragged things across the scanner with fluid precision and bagged them effortlessly. She conversed with me, asked about my day, mentioned her child and husband and I think she even told me her blood type. This girl was good.
Sadly, this interaction at the checkout stand was the high point of my day to that point. And it was at Wal-Mart to boot. I feel dirty having confessed this experience. I still loathe the local shopping 'scene' but has Wal-Mart stepped up their game?
Speaking of stepping up the game, check out the ever-increasing quality of photos from across Minnesota at MinnPics.
Forgive me, but I was at the local Wal-Mart late yesterday afternoon. Yes, after years of vowing that I wouldn't become a Wal-Mart shopper, I have done just that because the grocery selection in Shakopee sucks. Ever since losing our Rainbow Foods Fresh Store, the only alternative is Cub which contrary to popular belief isn't actually cheap but only presents itself as such.
So, there I was, after 20 minutes of barreling through aisles crowded with the bottom rung of society I had found my way to the checkouts. Yes, it only took me twenty minutes to shop because I actually know what I need when I go grocery shopping unlike these indecisive types who also failed their class in Shopping Cart Etiquette 101 (hug the shelves with your cart and keep moving, fuckers).
The checkouts at Wal-Mart are an adventure. There is always at least one of the Shakopee store's eight express lanes open but these are reserved for folks with less than twenty items. Never mind the fact that the 15 or so people waiting might have a collective I.Q. of 12 based on their overflowing shopping carts containing hundreds of items each.
Another popular choice is the long lines at the self-checkouts. These are not even an option for me because the people ahead of me in the queue line can never manage to successfully scan and bag two items in succession, much less their entire cart-o-crap and then there's the whole matter of a paycheck. They don't pay me to scan and bag my own crap so it's a no go Wally.
That leaves me with the standard checkouts. I believe that the Shakopee Super Wal-Mart is home to no less than 36 checkouts. At peak times, such as 5:10 PM on a Wednesday afternoon, six of them can be found open. Of course this 1:6 ratio isn't entirely pathetic. It could be a 1:12 ratio. The big problem here is that these shoppers, as inbred as the outwardly appear, know how to fan out. They migrate to the "hard goods" side of the checkouts with their carts full of ice cream and juice boxes and stack up eight people deep.
That leaves me scoping out the situation. This is where my patented "checkout employee I.Q. profiling method" is trotted out.
If said checker is sloppily dressed, I pass. If said checker breathing heavily, wedged precariously in the checker cubicle and can be smelled from a distance of ten-plus yards, I pass. What I truly seek out is that one checker who is a fucking machine. The person who is faster than the electronic beeps coming from their register.
Even entering a longer line here will net you a shorter wait time. If Sally the SUV driving Soccer Mom has four screaming children in tow and a cart full of everything from Golden Delicious Apples to zip-up diapers, you still stand to win.
And win I did. This girl running her checkout with the utmost precision and speed rocketed through my purchases. She dragged things across the scanner with fluid precision and bagged them effortlessly. She conversed with me, asked about my day, mentioned her child and husband and I think she even told me her blood type. This girl was good.
Sadly, this interaction at the checkout stand was the high point of my day to that point. And it was at Wal-Mart to boot. I feel dirty having confessed this experience. I still loathe the local shopping 'scene' but has Wal-Mart stepped up their game?
Speaking of stepping up the game, check out the ever-increasing quality of photos from across Minnesota at MinnPics.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The necessary evil of Walmart
Walmart is the bane of my existence. For many of most youthful days, the faroff destination of Walmart seemed so mystical to the young me. The twenty mile trip to the nearest Walmart was a true family affair. So much stuff under one cramped roof. That original Albert Lea store was so awe-inspiring to me that I actually got excited when Mom said we were heading over to Walmart for some shopping.
Later in life, particularly my late-teen years, Target and their ultra-chic stores were more of a draw to me. Again, this meant a 30-plus mile trip because all my sorry hometown had for discount retailers was K-Mart and Shopko. Walmart started its slide to where it stays today. It became uncool to even utter the name of the store.
Then I moved. Walmart was again a twenty-plus mile drive. Really, Apple Valley is nice and all but its Walmart was definitely not a destination.
But then came a Walmart nearby. It was literally on the way home and its far-flung location meant that it wasn't overly busy and with the store being new, it hadn't yet slipped into the typical state of disrepair that seems to identify Walmart stores. The prices on the few items I allowed myself to buy from there made the stop worthwhile.
But just months after the original store opened, they remodeled and expanded into a full-on Supercenter. With that came groceries at low prices. It also brought crowds of people that seemed to have shopped exclusively there for decades. Nevermind the fact that this Walmart Supercenter was just weeks old. I mean I had never seen people like this at any other store. Ever. They tooled around in their motorized carts. Their saddlebags resting comfortably on the fenders of the moto-carts. And if they weren't motoring through the store buying up large quantities of generic cookies and Sam's choice soda they were laborously pushing a overflowing cart squarely down the center of the aisle at a snail's pace with total disregard for others who actually have other obligations.
But I kept going. My income steadily declining to 2000 levels, Walmart saved me money on my essential groceries. Sure, I left the store with unhealthy blood pressure levels but I had saved a few bucks and kept the family fed.
Then came yesterday. With three items in hand almost runing through the store, I sped towards the 27 checkout lanes - three of which were actually open at 4:45 PM. I did my typical intelligence profiling of the employees and made the wise decision to head for the self-checkouts. Big mistake. As I waited behind three people for ten minutes I repeatedly berated myself for omitting the fact that mouth-breathing shoppers are far less effective as checkers than actual checkers.
Needless to say, my old lady was pissed off as she was waiting for me to get home and watch the young 'un so she could to go to the gym.
That, in a not-so-concise story, is why Walmart is a necessary evil.
MinnPics keeps finding truly stunning and creative photos from around Minnesota. Click the link and find out what today's discovery is!
Later in life, particularly my late-teen years, Target and their ultra-chic stores were more of a draw to me. Again, this meant a 30-plus mile trip because all my sorry hometown had for discount retailers was K-Mart and Shopko. Walmart started its slide to where it stays today. It became uncool to even utter the name of the store.
Then I moved. Walmart was again a twenty-plus mile drive. Really, Apple Valley is nice and all but its Walmart was definitely not a destination.
But then came a Walmart nearby. It was literally on the way home and its far-flung location meant that it wasn't overly busy and with the store being new, it hadn't yet slipped into the typical state of disrepair that seems to identify Walmart stores. The prices on the few items I allowed myself to buy from there made the stop worthwhile.
But just months after the original store opened, they remodeled and expanded into a full-on Supercenter. With that came groceries at low prices. It also brought crowds of people that seemed to have shopped exclusively there for decades. Nevermind the fact that this Walmart Supercenter was just weeks old. I mean I had never seen people like this at any other store. Ever. They tooled around in their motorized carts. Their saddlebags resting comfortably on the fenders of the moto-carts. And if they weren't motoring through the store buying up large quantities of generic cookies and Sam's choice soda they were laborously pushing a overflowing cart squarely down the center of the aisle at a snail's pace with total disregard for others who actually have other obligations.
But I kept going. My income steadily declining to 2000 levels, Walmart saved me money on my essential groceries. Sure, I left the store with unhealthy blood pressure levels but I had saved a few bucks and kept the family fed.
Then came yesterday. With three items in hand almost runing through the store, I sped towards the 27 checkout lanes - three of which were actually open at 4:45 PM. I did my typical intelligence profiling of the employees and made the wise decision to head for the self-checkouts. Big mistake. As I waited behind three people for ten minutes I repeatedly berated myself for omitting the fact that mouth-breathing shoppers are far less effective as checkers than actual checkers.
Needless to say, my old lady was pissed off as she was waiting for me to get home and watch the young 'un so she could to go to the gym.
That, in a not-so-concise story, is why Walmart is a necessary evil.
MinnPics keeps finding truly stunning and creative photos from around Minnesota. Click the link and find out what today's discovery is!
Monday, December 29, 2008
When stores go out of business, I win
When I'm doing my Christmas shopping, I tend to lean towards bargains. When there's a sale on something that's on the list for whomever I'm buying for, I grab it because they'll think I paid double what it really cost.
This year, though, I've been hitting the going out of business sales. The first stop was Linens-N-Things. I've always liked their Burnsville, MN store and it's weird for a guy to say it but I like my house to be comfortable and that was just the place. I bought myself a clothes drying rack and the mother-in-law some ultra-plush bathroom towels which I considered buying double because they were so cheap and so damn soft. I just know I'd love drying my butt with something that soft.
The biggest score, though, was late Saturday afternoon at Burnsville Center. As my old lady bought frilly under things, I pushed MonsterStroller looking for a place to plant my ass. I inched closer to Steve & Barry's and noticed huge "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS" signs. Having only shopped there once or twice, I figured I'd check the dump out for the final time. Five t-shirts for $10 was tempting but if I want to state a message, I'll just say it. Then I hit gold. 70% off baby clothes. Even in the relatively small area they were relegated to the selection wasn't half bad - especially when you factor in their bargain basement original prices.
I grabbed a random but carefully-chosen stack of clothes there just as my old lady called wondering where I had vanished to. She strolled into the store, looked around, bought more baby clothes and we headed to the crazy-long, snaking line at the checkout.
Then I mentioned how they were even selling the hangers. Entire boxes for $20. Wood hangers. She asked "Where?" and I pointed.
All said and done we left with four bags full of stuff and paid $21. Something tells me that a cash registed inaccuracy played to our favor and that soon-to-be-unemployed retail jockey guy didn't care too much.
So, next time you mourn the loss of a store, think about people like me who come away as winners.
This year, though, I've been hitting the going out of business sales. The first stop was Linens-N-Things. I've always liked their Burnsville, MN store and it's weird for a guy to say it but I like my house to be comfortable and that was just the place. I bought myself a clothes drying rack and the mother-in-law some ultra-plush bathroom towels which I considered buying double because they were so cheap and so damn soft. I just know I'd love drying my butt with something that soft.
The biggest score, though, was late Saturday afternoon at Burnsville Center. As my old lady bought frilly under things, I pushed MonsterStroller looking for a place to plant my ass. I inched closer to Steve & Barry's and noticed huge "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS" signs. Having only shopped there once or twice, I figured I'd check the dump out for the final time. Five t-shirts for $10 was tempting but if I want to state a message, I'll just say it. Then I hit gold. 70% off baby clothes. Even in the relatively small area they were relegated to the selection wasn't half bad - especially when you factor in their bargain basement original prices.
I grabbed a random but carefully-chosen stack of clothes there just as my old lady called wondering where I had vanished to. She strolled into the store, looked around, bought more baby clothes and we headed to the crazy-long, snaking line at the checkout.
Then I mentioned how they were even selling the hangers. Entire boxes for $20. Wood hangers. She asked "Where?" and I pointed.
All said and done we left with four bags full of stuff and paid $21. Something tells me that a cash registed inaccuracy played to our favor and that soon-to-be-unemployed retail jockey guy didn't care too much.
So, next time you mourn the loss of a store, think about people like me who come away as winners.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Why Black Friday sucks
It doesn't suck because I had to work. It sucks because I loathe everything that the day after Thanksgiving stands for.
Think about it for a moment. People line up in the bone-chilling cold with little to no sleep as they seek out bargains on items that they could very likely do without. Do you really need that $12 set of pans? Sure, it's cool to have that 55" LCD HDTV hanging on the wall in your living room but this year you may instead want to focus on your mortgage payment so you actually have a wall you can drill a hole in.
My other problem with Black Friday isn't so much about the wild, uncontrollable spending as it is about the people who choose to shop that day. As I found out, it seems that the true professional shoppers who have a goal in mind hit the stores before the sun is even seen. The rookies or looky-loos as my mom would call them seem to occupy the hours from noon onward. Unfortunately for me, it was after 4 PM when I arrived at Target in search of the much-advertised $299 LCD HDTV which would have been the replacement for our beleagured upstairs hoopty.
Sure, I struck out not just at the Shakopee Target but also the Savage location but it didn't bother me so much that this phenomenal deal was sold out. What did bother me was that people seemed intent on browsing on Black Friday. That's like going to a Minnesota Timberwolves game because you love professional basketball. Chances are that you'll piss people off on Black Friday with your casual, slow-paced, feet-shuffling window shopping and your choice of a Timberwolves game for some pro hoops action will leave you sorely disappointed.
Hey, everyone has the choice of when and where to shop but much like driving 40 miles per hour on the freeway, keep to the right.
What were you thankful for during this Thanksgiving weekend? If it was great photos from Minnesota's best photographers, check out MinnPics!
Think about it for a moment. People line up in the bone-chilling cold with little to no sleep as they seek out bargains on items that they could very likely do without. Do you really need that $12 set of pans? Sure, it's cool to have that 55" LCD HDTV hanging on the wall in your living room but this year you may instead want to focus on your mortgage payment so you actually have a wall you can drill a hole in.
My other problem with Black Friday isn't so much about the wild, uncontrollable spending as it is about the people who choose to shop that day. As I found out, it seems that the true professional shoppers who have a goal in mind hit the stores before the sun is even seen. The rookies or looky-loos as my mom would call them seem to occupy the hours from noon onward. Unfortunately for me, it was after 4 PM when I arrived at Target in search of the much-advertised $299 LCD HDTV which would have been the replacement for our beleagured upstairs hoopty.
Sure, I struck out not just at the Shakopee Target but also the Savage location but it didn't bother me so much that this phenomenal deal was sold out. What did bother me was that people seemed intent on browsing on Black Friday. That's like going to a Minnesota Timberwolves game because you love professional basketball. Chances are that you'll piss people off on Black Friday with your casual, slow-paced, feet-shuffling window shopping and your choice of a Timberwolves game for some pro hoops action will leave you sorely disappointed.
Hey, everyone has the choice of when and where to shop but much like driving 40 miles per hour on the freeway, keep to the right.
What were you thankful for during this Thanksgiving weekend? If it was great photos from Minnesota's best photographers, check out MinnPics!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
How to I.Q. profile retail employees
Forgive me, but I was at the local Wal-Mart late yesterday afternoon. Yes, after years of vowing that I wouldn't become a Wal-Mart shopper, I have done just that because the grocery selection in Shakopee sucks. Ever since losing our Rainbow Foods Fresh Store, the only alternative is Cub which contrary to popular belief isn't actually cheap but only presents itself as such.
So, there I was, after 20 minutes of barreling through aisles crowded with the bottom rung of society I had found my way to the checkouts. Yes, it only took me twenty minutes to shop because I actually know what I need when I go grocery shopping unlike these indecisive types who also failed their class in Shopping Cart Etiquette 101 (hug the shelves with your cart and keep moving, fuckers).
The checkouts at Wal-Mart are an adventure. There is always at least one of the Shakopee store's eight express lanes open but these are reserved for folks with less than twenty items. Never mind the fact that the 15 or so people waiting might have a collective I.Q. of 12 based on their overflowing shopping carts containing hundreds of items each.
Another popular choice is the long lines at the self-checkouts. These are not even an option for me because the people ahead of me in the queue line can never manage to successfully scan and bag two items in succession, much less their entire cart-o-crap and then there's the whole matter of a paycheck. They don't pay me to scan and bag my own crap so it's a no go Wally.
That leaves me with the standard checkouts. I believe that the Shakopee Super Wal-Mart is home to no less than 36 checkouts. At peak times, such as 5:10 PM on a Wednesday afternoon, six of them can be found open. Of course this 1:6 ratio isn't entirely pathetic. It could be a 1:12 ratio. The big problem here is that these shoppers, as inbred as the outwardly appear, know how to fan out. They migrate to the "hard goods" side of the checkouts with their carts full of ice cream and juice boxes and stack up eight people deep.
That leaves me scoping out the situation. This is where my patented "checkout employee I.Q. profiling method" is trotted out.
If said checker is sloppily dressed, I pass. If said checker breathing heavily, wedged precariously in the checker cubicle and can be smelled from a distance of ten-plus yards, I pass. What I truly seek out is that one checker who is a fucking machine. The person who is faster than the electronic beeps coming from their register.
Even entering a longer line here will net you a shorter wait time. If Sally the SUV driving Soccer Mom has four screaming children in tow and a cart full of everything from Golden Delicious Apples to zip-up diapers, you still stand to win.
And win I did. This girl running her checkout with the utmost precision and speed rocketed through my purchases. She dragged things across the scanner with fluid precision and bagged them effortlessly. She conversed with me, asked about my day, mentioned her child and husband and I think she even told me her blood type. This girl was good.
Sadly, this interaction at the checkout stand was the high point of my day to that point. And it was at Wal-Mart to boot. I feel dirty having confessed this experience. I still loathe the local shopping 'scene' but has Wal-Mart stepped up their game?
Speaking of stepping up the game, check out the ever-increasing quality of photos from across Minnesota at MinnPics.
So, there I was, after 20 minutes of barreling through aisles crowded with the bottom rung of society I had found my way to the checkouts. Yes, it only took me twenty minutes to shop because I actually know what I need when I go grocery shopping unlike these indecisive types who also failed their class in Shopping Cart Etiquette 101 (hug the shelves with your cart and keep moving, fuckers).
The checkouts at Wal-Mart are an adventure. There is always at least one of the Shakopee store's eight express lanes open but these are reserved for folks with less than twenty items. Never mind the fact that the 15 or so people waiting might have a collective I.Q. of 12 based on their overflowing shopping carts containing hundreds of items each.
Another popular choice is the long lines at the self-checkouts. These are not even an option for me because the people ahead of me in the queue line can never manage to successfully scan and bag two items in succession, much less their entire cart-o-crap and then there's the whole matter of a paycheck. They don't pay me to scan and bag my own crap so it's a no go Wally.
That leaves me with the standard checkouts. I believe that the Shakopee Super Wal-Mart is home to no less than 36 checkouts. At peak times, such as 5:10 PM on a Wednesday afternoon, six of them can be found open. Of course this 1:6 ratio isn't entirely pathetic. It could be a 1:12 ratio. The big problem here is that these shoppers, as inbred as the outwardly appear, know how to fan out. They migrate to the "hard goods" side of the checkouts with their carts full of ice cream and juice boxes and stack up eight people deep.
That leaves me scoping out the situation. This is where my patented "checkout employee I.Q. profiling method" is trotted out.
If said checker is sloppily dressed, I pass. If said checker breathing heavily, wedged precariously in the checker cubicle and can be smelled from a distance of ten-plus yards, I pass. What I truly seek out is that one checker who is a fucking machine. The person who is faster than the electronic beeps coming from their register.
Even entering a longer line here will net you a shorter wait time. If Sally the SUV driving Soccer Mom has four screaming children in tow and a cart full of everything from Golden Delicious Apples to zip-up diapers, you still stand to win.
And win I did. This girl running her checkout with the utmost precision and speed rocketed through my purchases. She dragged things across the scanner with fluid precision and bagged them effortlessly. She conversed with me, asked about my day, mentioned her child and husband and I think she even told me her blood type. This girl was good.
Sadly, this interaction at the checkout stand was the high point of my day to that point. And it was at Wal-Mart to boot. I feel dirty having confessed this experience. I still loathe the local shopping 'scene' but has Wal-Mart stepped up their game?
Speaking of stepping up the game, check out the ever-increasing quality of photos from across Minnesota at MinnPics.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Walmart's new logo falls short
MSN has a decent analysis of Walmart's new logo which the company launched last week.
But who really cares about what some national news outlet has to say about anything? It's best to listen to an advertising guru* right here in Minnesota.
The creatives behind this new logo hit one out of the park with a brighter blue color. It borders
on a sky blue color (heavy on cyan, light on magenta) as opposed to the old and dated navy blue color used in the logo's previous incarnation.
That's where the good things end, though.
Veering away from the strong, blocky sans serif font used in the previous logo could prove dangerous for a brand who prides themselves on low prices. Don't get me wrong, the new typeface for Walmart's logo is fair. It isn't a powerful typeface but it looks softer than Target, their closest competitor. However, Target has maintained their strong, sans-serif typeface (Helvetica, I believe) since day one and has evolved in to the discount retailer that is fashionable and cool to shop at. A new, softer typeface isn't going to shake the stigma that Walmart has and while the typical Walmart shopper will pay little to no attention to something as meaningless to them as a logo, the small percentage who do notice may be confused and shift their shopping dollars elsewhere to a retailer whose image has been consistent for many decades. And what the hell is the deal with Walmart's sun burst (their description) which looks like a faulty asterisk?
(*Advertising Guru is a loose term as most would bill me as a total design hack)
But who really cares about what some national news outlet has to say about anything? It's best to listen to an advertising guru* right here in Minnesota.
The creatives behind this new logo hit one out of the park with a brighter blue color. It borders
on a sky blue color (heavy on cyan, light on magenta) as opposed to the old and dated navy blue color used in the logo's previous incarnation.That's where the good things end, though.
Veering away from the strong, blocky sans serif font used in the previous logo could prove dangerous for a brand who prides themselves on low prices. Don't get me wrong, the new typeface for Walmart's logo is fair. It isn't a powerful typeface but it looks softer than Target, their closest competitor. However, Target has maintained their strong, sans-serif typeface (Helvetica, I believe) since day one and has evolved in to the discount retailer that is fashionable and cool to shop at. A new, softer typeface isn't going to shake the stigma that Walmart has and while the typical Walmart shopper will pay little to no attention to something as meaningless to them as a logo, the small percentage who do notice may be confused and shift their shopping dollars elsewhere to a retailer whose image has been consistent for many decades. And what the hell is the deal with Walmart's sun burst (their description) which looks like a faulty asterisk?
(*Advertising Guru is a loose term as most would bill me as a total design hack)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Dumb criminal lives out stereotype
Who, you ask, would shoplift from Wal-Mart? Sure, kids do it because they want crunchy peanut butter, dammit, creamy is for fucking babies! Then there are the grown adults who shoplift. Take this guy for instance.
Not only did he shoplift from Wal-Mart, he did what any petty thief would do after narrowly alluding the store's rent-a-cop. He led a high-speed chase from the Wal-Mart in Shakopee into neighboring Savage. But he did this only by taking a scenic route, driving down a bike path and across a pedestrian bridge before bailing from his car and being tackled by an officer.
Did he really think with the network of cameras covering not just the store but the parking lot, too, that he had a snowball's chance in hell? Hey dumbass, I hope you weren't in jail too long because it would sure be a shame if you missed last night's NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 from Charlotte. (Couldn't pass up the stereotype) And for the record, I'm more on the side of Indy racing.
Not only did he shoplift from Wal-Mart, he did what any petty thief would do after narrowly alluding the store's rent-a-cop. He led a high-speed chase from the Wal-Mart in Shakopee into neighboring Savage. But he did this only by taking a scenic route, driving down a bike path and across a pedestrian bridge before bailing from his car and being tackled by an officer.
Did he really think with the network of cameras covering not just the store but the parking lot, too, that he had a snowball's chance in hell? Hey dumbass, I hope you weren't in jail too long because it would sure be a shame if you missed last night's NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 from Charlotte. (Couldn't pass up the stereotype) And for the record, I'm more on the side of Indy racing.
Monday, April 28, 2008
How not to treat customers
I've wondered somedays as I drive down 169 through Shakopee just how that city can support a whole host of rather large furniture stores (Ashley, Furniture Outlets USA and now Slumberland) essentially across the street from each other. The reason I ponder this is that the city consisting on big-box retailers and townhomes just became home to a Slumberland Furniture store. I have to assume that the quality of the furniture has to be better than that of the now-defunct Wickes Furniture where we bought the bulk of our furniture almost five years ago. Most of that furniture would be better suited for a dumpster but that is another story for another day.
I've scoped out other furniture retailers, hoping to find a better level of quality and customer service for that next big furniture purchase. After reading this recap of a customer service nightmare at the new Shakopee Slumberland I can definitely say that Slumberland is off my list of possibilities. The only dealings I had with them were many years ago in purchasing a coffee table/end table set that thankfully didn't have to be delivered and is holding up wonderfully (unlike that crap from Wickes).
I wish the best for the poor guy who's being taken for a ride through hell by Slumberland but it reminded me with my hellish experience with Home Depot a couple years back. Is it a thing of the past that the customer is always right?
I've scoped out other furniture retailers, hoping to find a better level of quality and customer service for that next big furniture purchase. After reading this recap of a customer service nightmare at the new Shakopee Slumberland I can definitely say that Slumberland is off my list of possibilities. The only dealings I had with them were many years ago in purchasing a coffee table/end table set that thankfully didn't have to be delivered and is holding up wonderfully (unlike that crap from Wickes).
I wish the best for the poor guy who's being taken for a ride through hell by Slumberland but it reminded me with my hellish experience with Home Depot a couple years back. Is it a thing of the past that the customer is always right?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Did ya' hear 'bout the sale at Kohl's?
I think we hit the damn jackpot Friday evening after we did the responsible Catholic thing and ate our lovely Lenten meal of fish.
Yes, we went to Kohl's. The antithesis of respectable department stores -- get this -- was having a sale. Not just any sale though, they had both night owl hours AND early bird hours. Then there were the sale prices. 40, 50 and 60% off! Oy vey, I almost plotzed!
I know that not everyone was privy to these fantastic deals as I can assume this was something exclusive to Shakopee because the suits (tracksuits) at Kohl's would surely lose their tails if they offered up these amazingly low prices at all 13,065,967 stores (and those are just the ones in Minnesota).
So there you have it, I managed to stay alive through the sub-absolute zero temperatures of the weekend and find once-in-a-lifetime deals. Suck on that.
Yes, we went to Kohl's. The antithesis of respectable department stores -- get this -- was having a sale. Not just any sale though, they had both night owl hours AND early bird hours. Then there were the sale prices. 40, 50 and 60% off! Oy vey, I almost plotzed!
I know that not everyone was privy to these fantastic deals as I can assume this was something exclusive to Shakopee because the suits (tracksuits) at Kohl's would surely lose their tails if they offered up these amazingly low prices at all 13,065,967 stores (and those are just the ones in Minnesota).
So there you have it, I managed to stay alive through the sub-absolute zero temperatures of the weekend and find once-in-a-lifetime deals. Suck on that.
Friday, December 14, 2007
A malling experience
As I was reading this recommended City pages article in which the writer spent a mind-numbing and sanity-testing week in Bloomington, Minnesota's Mall of America I began to ponder some serious questions.
My first question popped into my head as I read the writer's details of his sixth day in the mall where uber-punk retailer Hot Topic was mentioned. I have to wonder, because I have been known to peruse their offerings from time to time while simultaneously mocking everyone working and shopping there, at what age it becomes viewed as creepy to shop, er, walk into a Hot Topic store. Seriously, how old is too old to venture through the door, um entry of a Hot Topic store? I still have a punch card in my bill fold from there and am hellbent on finishing it off before I hit that magical cutoff age. I wonder this because earlier this week pharmacy tech guy's wife invited us to celebrate his 30th birthday later this month. Seriously, I am feeling old.
My second question paraded through the wasteland that is my mind as I wrote about my first question. Early on in the aforementioned Mall of America article, the writer met up with one of the mall's most ubiquitous shoppers who confessed to spending about $2,000 each week. She seemed shocked to know that the annual total crossed the $100,000 barrier. Apparently this trophy wife who had her sugar daddy wrapped around her pinky finger didn't major in mathematics. How, though, does someone who is an admitted shopping addict spend more in a week shopping than I earn in two weeks?
While the article was funny, it raised some important items to think about. For instance, what exactly are the Vietnamese women sculpting your fingernails and toenails laughing at? Call me paranoid but if they are laughing at how poorly cared for my nails are, I have every right to laugh at their silly little Michael Jackson-esque paper surgical-style masks.
Now for the real questions... what's the longest you have spent in a mall? What the most you spent in one signle mall trip? Have you ever been to the Mall of America? (Yes, I have been there but despite my proximity less than a dozen times.)
My first question popped into my head as I read the writer's details of his sixth day in the mall where uber-punk retailer Hot Topic was mentioned. I have to wonder, because I have been known to peruse their offerings from time to time while simultaneously mocking everyone working and shopping there, at what age it becomes viewed as creepy to shop, er, walk into a Hot Topic store. Seriously, how old is too old to venture through the door, um entry of a Hot Topic store? I still have a punch card in my bill fold from there and am hellbent on finishing it off before I hit that magical cutoff age. I wonder this because earlier this week pharmacy tech guy's wife invited us to celebrate his 30th birthday later this month. Seriously, I am feeling old.
My second question paraded through the wasteland that is my mind as I wrote about my first question. Early on in the aforementioned Mall of America article, the writer met up with one of the mall's most ubiquitous shoppers who confessed to spending about $2,000 each week. She seemed shocked to know that the annual total crossed the $100,000 barrier. Apparently this trophy wife who had her sugar daddy wrapped around her pinky finger didn't major in mathematics. How, though, does someone who is an admitted shopping addict spend more in a week shopping than I earn in two weeks?
While the article was funny, it raised some important items to think about. For instance, what exactly are the Vietnamese women sculpting your fingernails and toenails laughing at? Call me paranoid but if they are laughing at how poorly cared for my nails are, I have every right to laugh at their silly little Michael Jackson-esque paper surgical-style masks.
Now for the real questions... what's the longest you have spent in a mall? What the most you spent in one signle mall trip? Have you ever been to the Mall of America? (Yes, I have been there but despite my proximity less than a dozen times.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)