The battle surrounding food

I don't plan on venturing in to parenting blog territory because I'm the last guy that should ever give parenting advice - outside of don't become a parent at 15 years old because that will never turn out well but I've been a dad now for about 19 months so that qualifies me for something.

The toddler is as cute as a whole truckload of buttons but the problem is that she knows it. She is already using her stunning good looks to her advantage and that is never good. Before she has turned two and before she has truly begun to talk she is already a tiny diva. I've heard stories about how she makes little boys her age do what she wants for her. If that isn't a glimpse in to the future, I don't know what is.

But this isn't about her manipulating of the tiny males around her. This is about her eating habits. I'll just say that I don't view obesity as ever being a problem for her because, from what I understand, obese people usually eat. This eating thing is something that the toddler rarely eats in my presence. Last night was especially tough as we actually held her down and put food in her tiny, angry mouth. Lately her eating habits include sitting for about two minutes (actually eating some) and then running around with us increasingly frazzled parents stuffing food in to her mouth as she sprints by.

I don't usually compare notes with other parents because I have other, more important things to talk about like what I'm having for lunch and the status of my shoes (disintegrating) but her eating habits are disturbing. Obviously, based on her steady weight, she is actually eating at some point and the pediatrician said that the whole not eating thing is normal but I'd love for her to eat at least a couple meals each day (maybe even sit for the entirety of them). Maybe some meat in her diet because as delicious as fruit is, it's not exactly rich in protein.

I'm sure this will all work out in the end but I've gone as far as having a sit-down conversation with the toddler where I discussed how if she doesn't eat she's going to be the first toddler to starve with a full plate of food sitting right in front of her.

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Is temporary insanity a welcome relief?

How many times have you come dangerously close to "losing it"? Think about it for a moment. Now think how many times you've considered spitting in someone's face, smearing your feces on the vehicle whose driver pissed you off to such an extent that you considered calling the cops on them or just wanted to unleash a string of profanities on someone you deem "too dumb to exist"?

The stresses of daily life can be great but smearing poo on a parked vehicle will usually get you arrested - or at least garner some strange looks. But, if you claim that you are (or legitimately are) crazy, you've got an easy out. Temporary insanity is a total cop out. People have used it as an excuse for murder and gone right back (basically) to their daily lives. But what can the average, pissed off citizen do to use temporary insanity to their advantage?

The best way is to use your own temporary insanity is to actually save you sanity. It all comes full circle to the level of stress you carry. Truly "losing it" will have some stiff legal ramifications but "snapping" and writing it off as temporary insanity could actually get you condolences. I'm not advocating the burning down of someone's house because their dog is barking but you have to find a release for the anger. You could punch a wall but that cold hurt your fist because every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If the neighbor's dog is barking and won't shut the hell up, get in your car and drive to a desolate rural area and scream as loudly as you can. Kick gravel and hit something with a board or lead pipe. Don't inflict harm on someone else's property but get it out before you end up walking in to a gym in Pittsburg and shooting people at random.

I've gone to such extremes as hurling a barrel used as a garbage can at a post. Once my frustration was out, I put the barrel back in its place and, as my friends laughed until tears streamed down their faces, moved on with my life. I've also taken a large hammer to a pile of rocks and swung furiously as I smashed those rocks with shards of them flying in all directions. The end result was smaller bits of rocks and less stress on my part. It ended better than ramming my cart into a Walmart employee.

How do you go about dealing with your stress? Do you have temporary insanity moments or rage blackouts?

Or do you bathe in the awesomeness that is MinnPics? Photos can be relaxing so go now and explore the past year's worth of greatness.