Amy Winehouse: the ticking time bomb

When I heard via a friend's smart phone late Saturday evening that Amy Winehouse had been found dead, I made some off-color remark about her death. You'd have to be an idiot if you didn't see her death coming from a mile away. Hell, I'm surprised that she held on this long. I had her in my death pool as far back as 2008.

But nobody at 27 years old deserves to die. It's sad to think that she peaked years earlier after winning a couple of Grammys for "Rehab" which was both catchy and an ode to her defiant, booze- and drug-fueled lifestyle. She had a ton of potential as an artist. Unfortunately she was surrounded with enablers.



To see that former druggie Russell Brand referred to Amy Winehouse as a "Fucking genius" may very well be true. It's just that, outside of her Grammy-winning "Rehab", we never saw that genius. Instead, we were treated to photos of her looking like death's sick cousin. Winehouse was often photographed wearing lingerie in public -- looking like she had no idea where she even was. She sported a tattoo in script that read "Blake" which was like a love note for her on-again off-again boyfriend Blake Fielder Civil. Sadly, their love of drugs was far stronger than their love for each other but when you're both fucked out of your minds on heroin you only care about your next fix and surpassing the high of the last one. Hell, it was pretty obvious that drugs were what kept them together and tore them apart and it is a decent guess that she died of a heroin overdose. I'll be shocked if the cause of death is something else.

It seems to me that, at least in part, Amy Winehouse didn't want to be helped. Maybe she was one of those types that felt that the heroin brought her creativity. Maybe Winehouse felt that the world would be better without her -- a sort of inferiority complex. Maybe she simply liked to tempt fate as reckless rock stars sometimes do. Whatever the case, she joined the 27 club this weekend along with the likes of Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.

As one writer put it this weekend, "Why couldn't it have been Pete Doherty who died instead?"

Charlie Sheen will be dead within the year?

No matter how hard he apparently tries to wipe himself from the face of the Earth, Charlie Sheen simply won't go the fuck away. Whether it's weekend-long cocaine benders or drinking more booze in a day that most Irish villages consume in a decade, Charlie Sheen just won't get his drunk ass out of the spotlight.

Of course it all sort of came to a head last week when he called out his show's (Two and a Half Men) creator/producer Chuck Lorre as taking advantage of him. Of course that wasn't enough for the likely crazy and/or coked-up Sheen -- he went on to reveal Chuck Lorre's Hebrew name (in a rather ethnic-clurry kind of way) as Chaim Levine. The jury's still out on whether or not that part's even true but he ventured down the Mel Gibson Expressway with a borderline ethnic slur. And so what if Lorre changed his name for showbiz purposes -- Charlie Sheen's real name is actually Carlos Estevez. But crazy druggie Charlie Sheen wasn't done yet, he of course had to drag Warner Brother TV Studio into this. They were responsible for shutting down production of Two and a Half Men last week but Sheen accused them of profiting wildly from the immensely successful show which Sheen stars in.

Outside of the obvious reasoning that businesses exist to profit wildly from their employees, this isn't really news. Sheen receives in excess of $1.25 million per episode of Two and a Half Men so unless he spending that much on cocaine 24 times each year (that would be ALOT of blow) he is rather handsomely rewarded for his twenty-two minutes of acting each week for approximately half of the year.

But why is this news? Why does it effect me?

It's the ever-present, mind-numbing analysis of nearly every step of those who entertain the masses. It's supposedly news because we like a good trainwreck. It's a twisted way to think of things but plenty of people love to see someone famous self-destruct. Sure, the Dr. Phils of the world are standing by, eager to help the oh-so-troubled stars and starlets because they are so fucking important to the world as a whole. Here's a newsflash -- THEY AREN'T IMPORTANT AT ALL. How many big name stars made a huge impact on our TV-centered culture in the past five decades and just as quickly as they became popular, they faded into obscurity?

Even more important is why do I care? I care because, like so many others, I like to see the undeservingly privileged destroy themselves. Sheen, who seems to live out a sort of autobiography as a sex and booze addicted slacker in coastal southern California on Two and a Half Men, has this coming to him. I'd like nothing more that for his show to fall off the radar. He frolicks around with prostitutes and porn stars yet claims to love his family. He has beaten his wife and girlfriends in the past yet claims to be a family man who loves and provides for them. He is the worst type of hypocrite and while the supporting cast and crew of his CBS sitcom don't deserve the unemployment line, this needs to be the end of Charlie Sheen because the mere mention of his name both infurates and intensely interests me. I hate him because he's not acting, he's just being himself but I love seeing his death spiral.

It's time to erect something

I hope that everyone remembers Bob Dole. Remember how after his 1996 presidential run, he turned to endorsing Viagra?

Would it be stereotypical of me to say that all old politicians need their boner pills? At what age does El Capitan start to get sluggish?

Can it then be assumed that with this interview that a certain current presidential candidate is already in need of Viagra, Cialis or Levitra to firm up his meat rocket?



I am not an ageist but can America trust a man who is needs drugs to function in his daily life?

Even more importantly, are women being left out in the cold? No, not with men who aren't able to stiffen up their flaccid members but perking up something of their own. Of course, I am speaking of nipples. Many women are able to tell the temperature of a room with their nipples but what is being done about those who can't? Are the pharmaceutical companies looking out for women whose nipples aren't temperature sensitive? Where is the justice? Where is the equality? Where is the nipple hardness pill?

Tsk, tsk. If you haven't checked out MinnPics yet, you are missing out. It's coherent, full of great content and lots of pictures which means less of that pesky reading. The best photos from the best photographers and it's all about Minnesota.