Quote of the day

Yesterday my old lady returned home from work with a great story to share. She shared the world's most perfect quote with me that she had overheard earlier in the day...

There was a car of hoes. I mean fine-ass bitches.

5,000 points go to the person who can correctly nail down some details about the two persons who were discussing the topic of the day.

And while you're at it, check out MinnPics. Great photos tell great stories and Minnesota is full of them!

The points, finally explained

I've referred to points here from time to time. Like any in-house currency, they are actually of value (when enough are amassed). And expect more points more frequently as I attempt to stimulate the points economy.

But rather than bore you with the details of what the points are good for, I've finally gotten around to tackling the logistics of the elusive A Day in the Life Official Membership & Points Card because a picture is worth a million words. It's rather official in appearance and, as the flip side of the card shows, I've opted for magnetic strip technology rather than antiquated bar codes. It's handy and luckily for me it stores all kinds of personal data like your social security number, your height and weight, your tenth grade gym locker combination and your favorite kind of pudding.


But wait, it's more than a single-use membership card. It also works as your driver's license. It functions as your official NRA membership card. It contains an ultra-slim 2 megapixel digital camera and it also functions as a Chinese throwing star if you ever find yourself in the midst of a ninja attack.

It's the only card you'll ever need to carry.

If photos of actual substance are your thing, I suggest checking out the offerings at MinnPics. It's where Minnesota photography lives.

Target makes you have babies

It all started on the way to Target in Shakopee. We needed a curtain rod to finish off the laundry room. We took my car because, to be honest, it's rough. The plan was to get that baby out in to the world. My old lady was antsy as Saturday made her officially one day past her due date and she wanted nothing more than to be able to sleep on her stomach.

We were nearly to Target when she started feeling contractions. Because she's tough as nails, we forged ahead and after striking out at Target (does everyone buy white cafe-style curtain rods?) we went ahead to Wal-Mart where we circled the store because we thought some juice was needed.

By the time we got home, the contractions had slowed or even stopped. After a brisk walk around a few blocks in the 'hood and the third spicy meal in a row, there was some more contraction action. This time it happened as I was wiring in the motor on the whirlpool tub.

Let's just say that project isn't finished yet. By 8:30 we were getting checked in to the hospital and shortly after that I played my role as the dutiful sherpa who lugged all of the necessities to the second floor room.

Let's fast forward to 4:00 PM Sunday, a full 20 hours after her hard contractions began. The big show was upon us. The pushing began. The screaming started. The missus screamed too. I saw everything - even how a hospital room oxygen mask works (there's a little water bottle) because a hyperventilating mom-to-be isn't a good thing.

Then, after the doctor nearly scheduling a c-section, that final push with the help of forceps (ouch) brought 8 lb. 12 oz. Olivia Ruth in to the world at 5:56 PM on Sunday, november 16, 2008. Big in the weight department for a first child but of average length at 20.5".

Yes, that adds up to a full 22 hours of labor and 36 hours of us being awake. We are tired but not totally exhausted.

Oh yes, there are also photos. MinnPics has the cutest, exploitative baby photo this side of the Mississippi River. Check it out and judge for yourselves!

The points (5,000 of them) for naming her go to Memarie Lane who mentioned the name of Olivia which we were already considering but only cemented our decision once we saw her.

The winner of the "Guess the Due Date" game was H who nailed the date of November 16. 5,000 points to her as well!

You can name our baby and win points

Yes, the fateful day has nearly arrived and rather than sort through millions of baby name websites I thought I'd consult the hordes of brilliant readers that frequent this blog. It's pretty simple, really, just drop your pick(s) for girl's names in the comments and I'll sort through them and see if any of the names really stick. I truly do need your help on this.

As with any contest/submission, points are at stake. I'll award the person who submits the winning name a whopping 5,000 points. If you don't know about my points system, read back or search "points" and you'll be up to speed. The cutoff is 6 PM Central tonight (Tuesday).

In the spirit of new things, in my case a baby, MinnPics is showcasing at least one fresh and stunning photo from the great state of Minnesota each day.

Following up...

Winners from last week's "decipher that jibberish" contest have been chosen.

Leah and Crazy Lady win in the creativity field. These two winners share equal parts of the 5,000 points which were available. Got it ladies? That's 2,500 points each and keep track of them because I don't.

As for the rest of the entrants, the medical terminology used was from an MRI which the wife had on her shoulder almost three years ago after tumbling from a step ladder and breaking her foot.

On a side note, camera-toting Minnesotans were busy this weekend so check out MinnPics for fresh photography goodness today and every day all week long!

It's all jibberish to me

1. No definite evidence for tearing of the glenoid labrum is seen. No paralabral ganglion cyst formation is noted.
2. No chondral injuries along the articular surfaces of the glenohumeral articulation are present.
3. No Hills-Sachs or reverse Hills-Sachs deformity is seen.
4. No evidence for rotator cuff tearing or tendinosis.
5. Mild acromioclavicular joint arthritis.

I found this, part of two pages, sitting on my home office chair tonight and felt I should share it because I'm a sharing kind of guy and ask a question too.

Give me your best guess. What is all this babble about? Best guess (serious or not) gets a whopping 5,000 points!

If you're unfamiliar with points, a mere 1,100,500 accumulated earns a tasty Grasshopper cookie. Hold on to those points, too, as the Christmas catalog arrives shortly chock full of items I've featured here in recent weeks. Some of you have won points already and some are pending. Keep track of your points folks, you can't expect me to do it all.

No points here, just awesome photos from Minnesota's finest photo junkies showcased daily at MinnPics.

Where was I?

And more importantly, what the hell was I doing?

Some old wise saying states that a picture is worth a thousand words but what can you determine from these photos I snapped about a week ago? Try to figure out what I was doing and where I was. As always points are available.






And if photos are your thing, check out a plethora of amazing photos from Minnesota's best photographers at MinnPics. Guaranteed to amaze.

Questions answered, points to be won

I can't always answer everything that pops up in the comments so what better day than Friday (and the following weekend when absolutely nobody reads this) to answer those random questions.

Spleeness asked:

So what happened with the semi?
The short version is that the semi stopped. After I laid on my horn and yelled a string of profanities. Then I realized that my driver's side window was down. I backed up slightly, inched my car uncomfortably close to the truck next to me and the semi attempted to back up. After a few minutes, the cars crowding behind me in the trun lane backed up also and within five minutes, the semi was free to make his poorly planned turn.

No asked:

HOLD UP--- I couldn't read the past the Paul Douglas getting fired...details please..You are my main source of Twin Cities gossip..do tell.

Douglas fell victim to across the nation cuts at CBS owned stations. They offered to keep him on until the end of May (the ratings period) but he apparently declined. Star Tribune gossip hack even tried to get in on the action by claiming that she broke the story and argued it out publicly with Minnesota Monitor's Paul Schmelzer. It all boils down, apparently, to the validity of the time stamps but I broke it on MNSpeak the day is was publicly announced.


MichelleAnn asked:

Sornie...are you expecting??

My belly would make a person assume that I am but unless I accidentally drank some of that polluted tap water full up with the prescription meds we flush down the toilet, I am not able to conceive.

and finally...

No asked:

Did anyone notice the pregnancy thing?

Yes indeed, plenty have noticed "the pregnancy thing" and it's as real as tomorrow being Saturday. The expected due date is the ultra-specific "mid-November". Leah's guess of November 12 from way back may have be dead on. Of course if pregnancies are as reliable as the departure times of American Airlines flights, December may be a real possibility.

And on that note, I think it's time to award some more points. Place your guesses of my wife's actual date of delivery. The winner, obviously announced after the delivery, will receive 5,000 points. That point amount is the most I've awarded in a single contest ever. Make your guesses now!

Let's play a guessing game

I invite you to guess what will take place in November. Of this year. With me. Sure, you could say that I'll gorge myself on turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes and pie and land myself on the toilet for the better part of an hour and spend the rest of the day in an almost-comatose state laid back in a recliner with my pants ceremoniously undone in what is commonly known as Thanksgiving (of course sometimes I just start with the pants undone). You could also say that I'll be dragging out and placing Christmas lights back in the very places I removed them from way back in March which was actually this past weekend. You could also guess I'll be writing the same meaningless string of words in hopes of entertaining some but truly working to inflate my already oversized, massive ego.
All of those guesses would, technically, be correct but are off the damn table because I lay claim to them and I already said they'll all be true.

So fire away with the guesses.

(As always, points are at stake and can be accumulated for use towards great items featured in the upcoming Christmas gift catalog.)

Get your fresh points here

With correct guesses from last week's oh-so-mysterious guessing game about my vacation destination, I officially have winners.

Anonymous said...
I am guessing the you are going on safari in Africa to kill an the most elusive of all prey. Or else you are going to Hawaii, I am gonna guess the Big Island.

P.S. I want my grasshopper cookie


snowelf said...
I'm guessing Cali or Hawaii too!
And I'm totally playing this game on my blog sometimes this week too, cause I'm getting the heck outta here next weekend! :)

Regardless of where you're going, have a GREAT time!!

--snow


buffalodickdy said...
Have a nice trip to Hawaii....

The Future Was Yesterday said...
Hawaii, because "The rental car is probably a Hyundai." Nothing bigger will fit the parking spaces on that gawd awful rock (I was there three years with the Navy: sorry:) And you're probably flying USAir because one of their stops is in phoenix before jumping the mud puddle.:)

Hawaii is a dream vacation, but a hellish place to live. A beer was two bucks - and that was back in 1968


On the creativity front (because I am a sorta-creative type sorta kinda) I have winners as well...

Dorky Dad said...
I think that you're going to your Aunt Mildred's house in San Diego. You're taking your winter coat because Mildred keeps the freaking air conditioning at 40 degrees.

Whiskeymarie said...
I think you're travelling to beautiful Toledo, Ohio. You're bringing shorts 'cause you're just the sort of guy that likes to show off his gams. And, I'm pretty sure that EVERY car in Toledo is a Hyundai.

(no offense to any Toledoeans reading this.)

Yes, that's six (count 'em) winners sharing in the 1,500 point bounty. Watch your mailboxes closely for the official "A Day in the Life" envelope containing a voucher with the 250 points you have just won. As for the anonymous bastard who seems to have some sort of inside track (I think I know who you are) on the game, you know the rules for the elusive Grasshopper Cookie. It's 1,100,500 points until the big reward and F.Y.I., our package of nicely refirgerated Grasshopper Cookies was damn tasty as a treat in the Sheraton hotel room after we wandered about Hawaii's Big Island for the past few days.

In other awards news, the award for best damn meal in Kailua-Kona goes to Boston Basil's. Yes, the best Italian food two separate times now goes to a restaurant in Hawaii. The pizza I had beats my old hometown fave of Steve's Pizza but the guava cheesecake is what sealed the deal. Hawaii, you never cease to amaze me.

Hey, if the 250 points for each of the six winners isn't enough and you like to sit, waiting anxiously for what's next, stop back later for photos because what kind of cold heart would I have if I didn't share my photos with the world?

Guess my destination

I'm sick of this place called Minnesota. That's why on Wednesday I'm blowing this here popsicle stand. Yes, I'm leaving on a jet plane but I DO know when I'll be back again.

As I climb aboard a jet plane at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport after the pre-boarding cavity search (sans lube) I'll finally be free (for a while) of the shackles that bind me. Oh sure, I have a budget like any thrifty mid-western traveler but at least I'll come back rested and ready.

But what does that mean for you, my faithful readers?

Well, I could write a heartfelt poem but poetry isn't my specialty. Instead, a bit of sleuthing. Take random but educated guesses where I'll be spending my week away from Minnesota. Speculate wildly about what I'll be doing. Let your imagination run wild and create the most far fetched story possible and share it. Of course accuracy is a must because as with any good game, points are at stake.

The winner, as judged by me, receives 1,500 points. Your entries will be judged on both creativity and accuracy when I return from my globe-trotting journeys.

I won't leave you hanging, though. A few hints follow to get you started on your wild guessing.

One airport I have a layover at is in Phoenix, Arizona.

I will be taking both shorts and my winter jacket.

Favorite foods at my destination include seafood and fruit.

My destination is at least one time zone away from that of Minnesota.

The rental car is probably a Hyundai.

Alright, speculate away and do your best to get those 1,500 points! See y'all on the 26th!