Last weekend I went to Screamtown, located just west of Chaska, MN, with my wife and her sisters. While I did have a previous experience at the haunted attraction, it was during its first year when it was located next to Sever's Corn Maze in Shakopee. To say that it was lackluster in its first year would be far too kind.
Screamtown might now have surpassed its nearby competitor, Trail of Terror (located southwest of Shakopee, MN). Screamtown has that "new haunted attraction smell". While the $25 admission price had me doubting the drive west of Chaska, it did get us in to five different attractions -- each of which began from kind of a central courtyard where you could buy food and drinks from a couple of vendors and warm up in one of the tents.
With the rather heavy load of ads on local radio stations, I have to say that the owner of Screamtown is serious about making a top-notch Halloween-themed haunted attraction that draws from beyond just the southwest Minneapolis suburbs.
But with anything, there were pitfalls. As the clock rolled towards 10:30 a few of the attraction's workers seemed to, for lack of a better word, mail it in. I witnessed at least two costumed employees sitting down, doing nothing to even try to scare attendees as they walked by when we walked through the Circus Asylum. The number of actors working in the corn maze was also a bit sparse (maybe a few actors had taken the evening off but it's better to have extras than not enough). With a bit more attention to weed out actors / employees who can't be bothered to scare people for even three hours and an attempt to knock down admission -- possibly to around $20 per person -- Shakopee's Trail of Terror will easily be exposed as the third-rate haunted attraction that it truly is.
While the lines were long, you definitely have to check out the Oak Blood Forest which is the largest haunted attraction at Chaska's Scream Town. At least there is a looping video depicting the lore and history of the haunted woods at Screamtown. I'd say if there was one haunted attraction you plan on checking out, Screamtown is a far better bet than either Trail of Terror or Frightmares at Buck Hill.
To find Screamtown, head west of Chaska, MN on U.S. Highway 212 a few miles after the four lane portion ends. Find out the specifics at Screamtown.com
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Christmas comes AFTER Thanksgiving
It's apparently Christmas. I found this out yesterday as I sprinted through the local Target store for a bag of cat food. I realized it was Christmas yesterday, November 2nd, because Christmas had relentlessly vomited across from the general area of the pet supplies. Christmas had vomited so much, in fact, that it was running in to the area where the Halloween candy and remaining costumes had been relegated to. I knew it was coming because after the back-to-school supplies disappeared in the second week of September a back-wall aisle popped up entirely full of Christmas goods.
Yes, Christmas had in fact been lurking inside the walls of Target since early September and I hate that.
It's not that I hate Christmas. Entirely the opposite, in fact. I love Christmas. My house is that house during the month of December. I deck it out classily in white Christmas lights and a Santa's Village scene because it makes kids smile and I don't mind freezing my ass off dragging all of that stuff out from the basement each year. I just don't display all of my Santa-riffic goodnes suntil an appropriate time. The day after Thanksgiving. In case retailers and shoppers everywhere have forgotten, Thanksgiving celebrates the day that the pilgrims and Native Americans sat down and shared a bountiful meal in celebration of the year's harvest. We celebrate it on the final Thursday of November. Then the next day we feverishly plow full-on in to Christmas mere hours later but at least Thanksgiving gets its moment in the spotlight.
Well, at least it used to. I can understand and even tolerate retailers having Christmas displays up shortly after Halloween. It's big business and those advertising dollars that retailers spend keep my bills paid. But if we can find time to recognize such stupid crap as Administrative Professionals Day then Thanksgiving deserves its own space and time without being whored up by the commercialism that is Christmas.
That means no Christmas music - no matter what - before Thanksgiving dinner is over.
Don't turn your Christmas lights on until the day after Thanksgiving.
Decorate the inside of your house whenever you damn well please but be aware that others will ridicule you for having garland and tinsel adorning your home on November 10th.
Keep indoor Christmas decor away from windows visible from outdoors until after Thanksgiving.
Turn off outdoor and dismantle indoor Christmas displays by January 2nd. A grace period of three days is available if you partied like it was 1999 on New Year's Eve.
All I'm saying is that holidays don't overlap. Keep them separate and if KOOL 108 or Lite FM start spinning Christmas music this year before Thanksgiving is over I am going to drive to their respective studios (closets with a computer inside) and smash that Christmas computer into tiny bits fit for decorating the station's Christmas tree.
I also promise to keep MinnPics seasonally appropriate. The photos of Minnesota will always be pleasant and compelling and rarely induce anger.
Yes, Christmas had in fact been lurking inside the walls of Target since early September and I hate that.
It's not that I hate Christmas. Entirely the opposite, in fact. I love Christmas. My house is that house during the month of December. I deck it out classily in white Christmas lights and a Santa's Village scene because it makes kids smile and I don't mind freezing my ass off dragging all of that stuff out from the basement each year. I just don't display all of my Santa-riffic goodnes suntil an appropriate time. The day after Thanksgiving. In case retailers and shoppers everywhere have forgotten, Thanksgiving celebrates the day that the pilgrims and Native Americans sat down and shared a bountiful meal in celebration of the year's harvest. We celebrate it on the final Thursday of November. Then the next day we feverishly plow full-on in to Christmas mere hours later but at least Thanksgiving gets its moment in the spotlight.
Well, at least it used to. I can understand and even tolerate retailers having Christmas displays up shortly after Halloween. It's big business and those advertising dollars that retailers spend keep my bills paid. But if we can find time to recognize such stupid crap as Administrative Professionals Day then Thanksgiving deserves its own space and time without being whored up by the commercialism that is Christmas.
That means no Christmas music - no matter what - before Thanksgiving dinner is over.
Don't turn your Christmas lights on until the day after Thanksgiving.
Decorate the inside of your house whenever you damn well please but be aware that others will ridicule you for having garland and tinsel adorning your home on November 10th.
Keep indoor Christmas decor away from windows visible from outdoors until after Thanksgiving.
Turn off outdoor and dismantle indoor Christmas displays by January 2nd. A grace period of three days is available if you partied like it was 1999 on New Year's Eve.
All I'm saying is that holidays don't overlap. Keep them separate and if KOOL 108 or Lite FM start spinning Christmas music this year before Thanksgiving is over I am going to drive to their respective studios (closets with a computer inside) and smash that Christmas computer into tiny bits fit for decorating the station's Christmas tree.
I also promise to keep MinnPics seasonally appropriate. The photos of Minnesota will always be pleasant and compelling and rarely induce anger.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Is Trick or Treating Dead?
"Is Trick or Treating Dead?" WCCO Good Question guy Jason DeRusha asked this question earlier today on his blog and his general reaction was that it's moving from a neighborhood event to a mall/event-centric "holiday". Hell, calling Halloween a holiday, in the traditional sense, is a bit of a stretch but it's marked as such on calendars so holiday it is.
Halloween, in my experience, isn't becoming any more of a mall-centric holiday for kids than it was when I was a wee-little goblin shaking down neighbors for candy. Halloween has always been about the kids because, let's face it, you look like a total dick if you're walking through the neighborhood smoking a cigarette in costume. That's either a sign that you're too damn old to beg for candy in your "costume" (turning your hat backwards and wearing your dad's uniform is NOT a costume) or you're a delinquent who needs to be locked up for your own good. And as much as I appreciate a nice cleavage-sporting costume, fifteen years old is not the appropriate age for that costume, now nineteen is a totally different story.
But back to the candy. The prices of candy are what piss me off - I spent about twenty bucks this year because I'm actually a nice guy. I willingly throw on my porch light each Halloween night and hand out candy to those who come to the door. It's usually the only time each year that I see 99% of these kids and they know damn well that they're leaving with at least one piece of candy.
Which brings me to another point. At least have the decency to say "Trick or Treat" when you hold out your pillowcase, shopping bag or plastic pumpkin. Don't be some ungrateful little prick who feels entitled to candy just because you had to walk all the way from your mom's minivan to my front door. And say "Thanks" after I drop the piece of candy into your little bag. Where the hell are your manners? That's why I like the under-five crowd. They are always the most polite (or shy) and they usually have mom or dad in tow with them. The ten-plus crowd is where they get to be "too cool" to try. They've taken on the mentality of their group leader and follow whatever attitude he or she displays - rarely is it a polite one. This is the douche crowd. They are too cool to even mutter a single word after I open the door. They are the ones who sometimes just walk around without a costume. Come on, even I wear a costume. This year, trick or treaters will either be greeted by hula girl Sornie or slutty nurse Sornie (both costumes I've previously worn - I like to recycle).
Which brings me to my final point. Halloween is one of the few "holidays" which is equally enjoyed by a broad group of ages. We all know that kids love it because they get "free" candy. But adults love it because they get to dress up like hula dancers or slutty nurses. And the adult women also get to dress up. That's what I like seeing...
If you like seeing photos from all corners of Minnesota, check out MinnPics. Updated multiple times daily, it's a virtual tour of the Northstar state.
Halloween, in my experience, isn't becoming any more of a mall-centric holiday for kids than it was when I was a wee-little goblin shaking down neighbors for candy. Halloween has always been about the kids because, let's face it, you look like a total dick if you're walking through the neighborhood smoking a cigarette in costume. That's either a sign that you're too damn old to beg for candy in your "costume" (turning your hat backwards and wearing your dad's uniform is NOT a costume) or you're a delinquent who needs to be locked up for your own good. And as much as I appreciate a nice cleavage-sporting costume, fifteen years old is not the appropriate age for that costume, now nineteen is a totally different story.
But back to the candy. The prices of candy are what piss me off - I spent about twenty bucks this year because I'm actually a nice guy. I willingly throw on my porch light each Halloween night and hand out candy to those who come to the door. It's usually the only time each year that I see 99% of these kids and they know damn well that they're leaving with at least one piece of candy.
Which brings me to another point. At least have the decency to say "Trick or Treat" when you hold out your pillowcase, shopping bag or plastic pumpkin. Don't be some ungrateful little prick who feels entitled to candy just because you had to walk all the way from your mom's minivan to my front door. And say "Thanks" after I drop the piece of candy into your little bag. Where the hell are your manners? That's why I like the under-five crowd. They are always the most polite (or shy) and they usually have mom or dad in tow with them. The ten-plus crowd is where they get to be "too cool" to try. They've taken on the mentality of their group leader and follow whatever attitude he or she displays - rarely is it a polite one. This is the douche crowd. They are too cool to even mutter a single word after I open the door. They are the ones who sometimes just walk around without a costume. Come on, even I wear a costume. This year, trick or treaters will either be greeted by hula girl Sornie or slutty nurse Sornie (both costumes I've previously worn - I like to recycle).
Which brings me to my final point. Halloween is one of the few "holidays" which is equally enjoyed by a broad group of ages. We all know that kids love it because they get "free" candy. But adults love it because they get to dress up like hula dancers or slutty nurses. And the adult women also get to dress up. That's what I like seeing...
If you like seeing photos from all corners of Minnesota, check out MinnPics. Updated multiple times daily, it's a virtual tour of the Northstar state.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Oh joy, Christmas is here
I still have my jack-o-lanterns sitting on my front steps. Sure, it's only November 3rd but I am confused because I hear Christmas music. Yes, for us here in the Twin Cities that means that either KOOL 108 or WLTE made the flip. Well, this year it was KOOL 108 that has managed to sully the entire month of November.
Hell, my foot still hurts from the Halloween party keg stand and the brain wizards behind KOOL 108 want me to throw on my jingle bells and go a-wassaling. Hell no. It's beyond difficult to get in to the Christmas spirit when it's 72 degrees and my afternoon plans involve buying some freshly-clearanced Halloween candy.
Way to go Clear Channel radio, you've made me loathe the final two months of the year more than all of the Christmas-whoring retailers could possibly do. Should I pull the Christmas tree out of storage and put it up or set it on fire?
UPDATE:
KOOL 108 went back to their regular oldies music at 2 PM Monday. Whether it was a moment of sanity or listener outrage remains to be seen.
Will Christmas grace the pages of MinnPics? Not until December if I can help it.
Hell, my foot still hurts from the Halloween party keg stand and the brain wizards behind KOOL 108 want me to throw on my jingle bells and go a-wassaling. Hell no. It's beyond difficult to get in to the Christmas spirit when it's 72 degrees and my afternoon plans involve buying some freshly-clearanced Halloween candy.
Way to go Clear Channel radio, you've made me loathe the final two months of the year more than all of the Christmas-whoring retailers could possibly do. Should I pull the Christmas tree out of storage and put it up or set it on fire?
UPDATE:
KOOL 108 went back to their regular oldies music at 2 PM Monday. Whether it was a moment of sanity or listener outrage remains to be seen.
Will Christmas grace the pages of MinnPics? Not until December if I can help it.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Halloween etiquette
Halloween. It's a holiday whose origins are dark and devilish and it has managed to evolve into a holiday entirely for kids and kids at heart.
It's candy and costumes. It's pumpkins and corn mazes. It's sullen teenagers who are too financially strapped to buy either candy or a costume so they drag their mopey asses around neighborhoods and beg for candy without costumes or common courtesy and politeness.
It was just after dark last night when the kid two doors down from us came a-ringin' our bell with three of his slacker friends, all sans costumes of course, to beg for candy. The doorbell rang and my wife opened the door to find these Future Losers of America standing blankly at our front door. They said nothing and simply held out their bags. The missus threw out one tiny candy bar to each of them and followed them halfway down the sidewalk, cautious that these FLA's didn't kick over one of our eleven jack-o-lanterns.
Once down the sidewalk, one loudly announced that he had to piss and did so in the middle of the street. At least he was off of our property and, honestly, what guy hasn't relieved himself in the street but those times are usually at 3 AM after a 750 of Jack Daniels, not at 6:40 PM when the neighborhood is strewn with kids dressed up as Wizard of Oz characters, Power Rangers, slutty bees, slutty Catholic school girls and slutty genies (all of which graced our doorstep).
Etiquette, though, was missing from a few. The youngest always said "trick or treat" and followed it with a youngish "thank you". These kids obvious come from parents who know what respect is. Hell, even the 14 year-old troop of slutty costumers had the same level of politeness, something messing from the pisser party who came earlier.
Is there a lesson here? Sure. Be polite. I think that I gave a candy bar to a twenty-something last night because this person was polite and had a kick-ass costume. See, politeness goes a long way and don't ever piss near my property again.
It's candy and costumes. It's pumpkins and corn mazes. It's sullen teenagers who are too financially strapped to buy either candy or a costume so they drag their mopey asses around neighborhoods and beg for candy without costumes or common courtesy and politeness.
It was just after dark last night when the kid two doors down from us came a-ringin' our bell with three of his slacker friends, all sans costumes of course, to beg for candy. The doorbell rang and my wife opened the door to find these Future Losers of America standing blankly at our front door. They said nothing and simply held out their bags. The missus threw out one tiny candy bar to each of them and followed them halfway down the sidewalk, cautious that these FLA's didn't kick over one of our eleven jack-o-lanterns.
Once down the sidewalk, one loudly announced that he had to piss and did so in the middle of the street. At least he was off of our property and, honestly, what guy hasn't relieved himself in the street but those times are usually at 3 AM after a 750 of Jack Daniels, not at 6:40 PM when the neighborhood is strewn with kids dressed up as Wizard of Oz characters, Power Rangers, slutty bees, slutty Catholic school girls and slutty genies (all of which graced our doorstep).
Etiquette, though, was missing from a few. The youngest always said "trick or treat" and followed it with a youngish "thank you". These kids obvious come from parents who know what respect is. Hell, even the 14 year-old troop of slutty costumers had the same level of politeness, something messing from the pisser party who came earlier.
Is there a lesson here? Sure. Be polite. I think that I gave a candy bar to a twenty-something last night because this person was polite and had a kick-ass costume. See, politeness goes a long way and don't ever piss near my property again.
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