Should Olivia Munn's Maxim cover be hidden along side Penthouse?

With Fox News jumping on the bandwagon of asking whether or not magazines should be censored, it's pretty obvious that the magazine in question shouldn't be censored. In fact, I think people should have to actually look at the magazine in question before passing judgment.

So there it is. Olivia Munn is, in fact, wearing lacy blue panties that are somewhat transparent but you have to truly be looking to see whether or not Ms. Munn is sporting a landing strip or hardwood floors to notice that her panties are actually transparent to a certain extent. So having a debate over a topic as frivolous as someone's underwear choice is ludicrous. If parents are truly worried about a third-tier magazine that isn't even displayed at checkout stands (you usually have to seek it out in magazine sections) then they need to re-examine their priorities.

For instance, try checking out wha tyour kids are seeing on TV and online. The violence they witness in those two mediums should alarm parents much more than the photo gracing a niche magazine's cover.

Contemplating pubic baldness

From a curious mind come bizarre questions. Most of my questions relate to pubic hair and baldness. It was only a matter of time until the two topics collided.

I'm no scientist but if general baldness can happen (of the cranium) who's to say that pubic baldness couldn't happen? Sure, some view pubic hair as nothing more than another hassle to maintain what with the constant trimming, washing, combing, perming and braiding so these people would likely view pubic balding as more of a blessing than a curse.

However, I see pubic balding among the general population as a potential profit center. Think of the millions of dollars made by the makers of Rogaine. The men buying these cans of foam are desperate to hold on to and re-grow their hair. It makes sense that vanity, as fair as hair goes, would continue to one's nether regions and extend below the belt. Pubic hair, in spite of the general view that presentation of it and the pubic region is best left behind closed doors, is nothing to be ashamed of.

Maybe we're to the point in our evolution that pubic baldness isn't actually baldness, it could just be the natural course of things to come. Maybe three generations from now all those places doing full Brazilian waxing will be out of business because nobody has any nether-regional hair left to be excruciatingly ripped out. It would really be a blessing for all of those strippers giving table dances at King of Diamonds in Inver Grove Heights but what aabout all of those unemployed waxing technicians? What about my grandiose plans for Pubic Rogaine?

What about visiting MinnPics to make yourself clean after reading an entire post about pubic hair?

Cats are weird

Why? Why are cats, one of nature's most curious mammals, a part of our daily lives? Why do we allow them into our homes? They poop in a box for God's sake. It's not exactly enlightened. They shed fur at a rate that, to me, suggests that they may not even be fond of having fur. Maybe they have evolved to such a point in their existence that, like humans of many centuries ago, they are ready to live an existence free of full-on body covering fur. After all, our distant ancestors shed their furry coats many millenia ago (sans pubic hair and can that be far behind?). Why couldn't the cats of our modern times be doing the same?

Maybe some new breed of cats, specifically for living in the shelter of human domiciles, are evolving. It could come to a point where humans and domesticated felines not only are similar in the way hair covers their bodies but in their daily habits. Imagine a world where cats evolve to a point where they can fully use human toilets. Imagine Fluffy crapping in your Crane toilet and flushing away the evidence. Imagine never having to purchase dusty cat litter and never again having to scoop up clumps of piss and poop from a plastic box.

Maybe cats were put on Earth to serve a greater purpose. Maybe we've been overlooking them for far too long and while our own evolution has slowed, theirs has actually sped up. Maybe cats will one day help humans. Maybe together we'll visit Mars, solve the World's greatest problems and bring about great things.

Or maybe cats are meant to do this.

Yes, cats are meant to lick our hair. Specifically my hair. While I watch television.

Wildlife has its place and when I find amazing photos of wildlife taken by Minnesota's great photographers, you can bet your cat's fur that MinnPics will be overflowing with those cool wildlife and animal photographs.

Another poorly thought out product

Today in the open-ended series of bad product ideas...
Aveeno Pubic Slightly Scented Wash & Shampoo doesn't need much explanation. Hell, the decorative badge on the bottle says it all... "Gentle Removal of Crotch Critters". But is it safe to use if you don't have any crotch critters? Hell yes. It's safe for your entire body and it's gentle enough for your pubic area regardless of its current status. Whether it's hardwood floor territory or a curly jungle, if you're concerned with pubic cleanliness (and who isn't?) this is what you've been waiting for! Pick up a bottle of Aveeno Pubic today. Available at such fine retailers as K-Mart, Osco Drug, Pamida and many Ben Franklin stores.

And you can find cool photos from across Minnesota at MinnPics. Not available at Osco Drug.

The hair down there

Leave it up to Minneapolis faux alt-weekly columinst Alexis (how she gets this sort of topic to fly within the confines of a stodgy newspaper is beyond me) to ponder the topic of pubic hair. Unsurprisingly, the short question generated a fair amount of feedback and made me wonder too.

I'm normally not one to pry or to reveal alot about myself either. But I have to wonder what people's opinions are on the personal grooming front. Is it a must for your partner to be as bald as a three year-old or are you all in favor of rocking some 70s-era rug? Are you sporting a mohawk of sorts or rocking the mullet? Is the choice purely aesthetic or is based on your significant other's preferences? Is it for health reasons or is below-the-belt grooming the last damn thing on your mind?

I don't normally go around asking strangers on the street what they prefer in terms of trimming/shaving/waxing or what they themselves have done but, hell, if you want to share, more power to you. The more who open up will coax me into the confessional as well.

The string of comments in the link above, though, opened my eyes to a number of things including certain infections whose cause I had no idea about. Call me naive but if we've evolved beyond a full-on coat of body hair/fur, can groinal coiffage be far behind?