So, um, what kind of viral marketing is this and what movie is it for?
The commenters on YouTube are getting all political over this two-minute video but there are certain clues that are a tip-off that it's a viral video attempt for some sort of movie. It doesn't even deserve this much attention except for its high quality. Not to mention that the YouTube user -- "hiropro999" -- has posted just one video but supposedly has a second video in the works describing how he or she pulled of the supposed Fox News ticker.
As with anything of this nature, I'll believe it's a real video if the footage was captured by someone else, if a still photo surfaced and was vetted and published by a legitimate news source. Until then I'll tag it as unlikely to be legitimate.
Showing posts with label marketing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marketing. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Don't trust an online advertising "expert"
A short conversation today quickly turned to discussing a supposed online sales guru with the last name of Blinder and how anyone with a couple years of experience in the graphic design industry knows what really works. Keep the animation to a minimum (don't make it annoying but use it when needed), don't be too fucking wordy and the most important point I brought up is that in the world of online users you have about a second to grab a reader's eyes and get them to pay attention to their ad. Don't use the same thought process that goes in to designing a typical newspaper or magazine advertisement because those are typically wordy and coming from a guy who reads fast, the shorter tidbits - no matter where I am reading them - get my attention first.
But back to Mr. Blinder. He and his team of "sales professionals" do produce results. They do so because they are overbearing, confrontational, aggressive and obnoxious (or so I've heard). They produce a shitload of revenue for their clients -- I've witnessed the results -- but they do so at a cost. That cost is the simple fact that your customers will forever associate online ads with the presentation they witnessed from the Blinder sales team. The Blinder team seems to make a habit out of over-promising results which sadly aren't achievable.
They promise that people will click the ads they are selling and drive traffic to customer's websites. Well, for that to happen the customer has to want whatever is being advertised pretty damn bad because plenty of websites out there are so bad that they shouldn't exist or so hopelessly outdated that the owner of them should bury their head in shame. This isn't a rip on local businesses because these very businesses keep a roof over my head and keep my co-workers gainfully employed but would you let your storefront display of Christmas items stay in your front window until May? I didn't think so.
For that matter, don't let your online ad fall in to that same outdated time warp. Update your ad and contrary to the advice of Mr. Blinder don't just change the background color. Simply changing the background color is fucking lazy. If I saw a designer doing this I'd be appalled for two reasons. The color should be thought out to a certain extent. Choosing a color, in my experience, is part of the overall design of a piece no matter how small or insignificant it is and changing the background -- the most dominant element -- can destroy a campaign and any business advertising should realize that a consistent look is what builds brand recognition. Change the color, disturb the brand recognition. It's pretty simple. Just look at what happened this week when Gap stores unveiled a new logo. That one move disrupted forty-plus years of history Gap had built. Don't tear down for the sake of tearing down, instead remodel, overhaul, refresh. The second reason is that this business' sales person isn't doing their job and is taking the easy way out. And if you have only one ad in your online arsenal, try harder. Multiple messages will allow website users to see something fresh. While sitting through TV commercials, I'd rather see two messages from the same advertiser than just one. Don't treat your online marketing any differently.
Mr. Blinder's greatest blunder is due to the fact that his ideas are displayed via Powerpoint. Sure, it's a decent enough program for conveying information but the way in which he does so is so ineffective that I'd rather sift through an endless stream of spreadsheets. The bulleted items are so vague that they could mean nearly anything if left open to interpretation. These vague points, after being given to sales persons, are then disemminated to potential customers. Cut through the bullshit and get real with customers. They want results but they also don't want to spend anything to achieve them because most businesses -- on a local level at least -- are so overtaxed financially that they aren't going to commit to a year's worth of advertising at any cost. I think most people would find it refreshing to NOT be sold a string of vague promises and numbers which mean nothing to them. A paragraph story in your ad -- no matter what its size is -- won't get read so keep it to ten words or less. I'll agree, though, with a point I read earlier this week about many advertisers having no fucking clue what CPM means and why they should care what it means so speak their language. To bring advertisers in to the fold of your website, be honest with them. They aren't going to get 10% of website users clicking on their ads. I've achieved that level once in a decade of experience with online advertising and that had more to do with the position and format of the ad than anything else. They wouldn't expect shoppers to bring their entire newspaper ad in to their store so why should click-thrus matter if your ad doesn't particularly lend to being clicked?
Expanding on that point, offer customers something they actually want. Click Here for a 50% off coupon is a good start. That will break the bank, you say? Have you heard of a disclaimer? Cap the savings amount at ten or twenty dollars and limit it to one coupon per user. Even grocery coupon sites like coupons.com have print limits so don't say that it can't be done because it can. And to bring it full circle, if your website sucks, don't expect people to come back to it. You get but one chance to make that first-time visitor a repeat visitor. If your inventory is stagnant or doesn't change frequently, add something to your website that CAN be freshened frequently and promote that to the front page of your site. Maybe a blog about something relevant to your business. Trust me, your employees are the best source of ideas so ask them, hell, have them handle that aspect of your online presence because sometimes letting go of what you think is the only way to do things is the best thing to do.
But back to Mr. Blinder. He and his team of "sales professionals" do produce results. They do so because they are overbearing, confrontational, aggressive and obnoxious (or so I've heard). They produce a shitload of revenue for their clients -- I've witnessed the results -- but they do so at a cost. That cost is the simple fact that your customers will forever associate online ads with the presentation they witnessed from the Blinder sales team. The Blinder team seems to make a habit out of over-promising results which sadly aren't achievable.
They promise that people will click the ads they are selling and drive traffic to customer's websites. Well, for that to happen the customer has to want whatever is being advertised pretty damn bad because plenty of websites out there are so bad that they shouldn't exist or so hopelessly outdated that the owner of them should bury their head in shame. This isn't a rip on local businesses because these very businesses keep a roof over my head and keep my co-workers gainfully employed but would you let your storefront display of Christmas items stay in your front window until May? I didn't think so.
For that matter, don't let your online ad fall in to that same outdated time warp. Update your ad and contrary to the advice of Mr. Blinder don't just change the background color. Simply changing the background color is fucking lazy. If I saw a designer doing this I'd be appalled for two reasons. The color should be thought out to a certain extent. Choosing a color, in my experience, is part of the overall design of a piece no matter how small or insignificant it is and changing the background -- the most dominant element -- can destroy a campaign and any business advertising should realize that a consistent look is what builds brand recognition. Change the color, disturb the brand recognition. It's pretty simple. Just look at what happened this week when Gap stores unveiled a new logo. That one move disrupted forty-plus years of history Gap had built. Don't tear down for the sake of tearing down, instead remodel, overhaul, refresh. The second reason is that this business' sales person isn't doing their job and is taking the easy way out. And if you have only one ad in your online arsenal, try harder. Multiple messages will allow website users to see something fresh. While sitting through TV commercials, I'd rather see two messages from the same advertiser than just one. Don't treat your online marketing any differently.
Mr. Blinder's greatest blunder is due to the fact that his ideas are displayed via Powerpoint. Sure, it's a decent enough program for conveying information but the way in which he does so is so ineffective that I'd rather sift through an endless stream of spreadsheets. The bulleted items are so vague that they could mean nearly anything if left open to interpretation. These vague points, after being given to sales persons, are then disemminated to potential customers. Cut through the bullshit and get real with customers. They want results but they also don't want to spend anything to achieve them because most businesses -- on a local level at least -- are so overtaxed financially that they aren't going to commit to a year's worth of advertising at any cost. I think most people would find it refreshing to NOT be sold a string of vague promises and numbers which mean nothing to them. A paragraph story in your ad -- no matter what its size is -- won't get read so keep it to ten words or less. I'll agree, though, with a point I read earlier this week about many advertisers having no fucking clue what CPM means and why they should care what it means so speak their language. To bring advertisers in to the fold of your website, be honest with them. They aren't going to get 10% of website users clicking on their ads. I've achieved that level once in a decade of experience with online advertising and that had more to do with the position and format of the ad than anything else. They wouldn't expect shoppers to bring their entire newspaper ad in to their store so why should click-thrus matter if your ad doesn't particularly lend to being clicked?
Expanding on that point, offer customers something they actually want. Click Here for a 50% off coupon is a good start. That will break the bank, you say? Have you heard of a disclaimer? Cap the savings amount at ten or twenty dollars and limit it to one coupon per user. Even grocery coupon sites like coupons.com have print limits so don't say that it can't be done because it can. And to bring it full circle, if your website sucks, don't expect people to come back to it. You get but one chance to make that first-time visitor a repeat visitor. If your inventory is stagnant or doesn't change frequently, add something to your website that CAN be freshened frequently and promote that to the front page of your site. Maybe a blog about something relevant to your business. Trust me, your employees are the best source of ideas so ask them, hell, have them handle that aspect of your online presence because sometimes letting go of what you think is the only way to do things is the best thing to do.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The evolution of Sierra Mist
I remember the first time I had a drink of Sierra Mist. For whatever reason (I suppose it was on sale) my mom arrived home from the grocery store with a two liter of this new soda. Being adventurous, I poured myself a glass of it after a proper amount of time spent chilling in the refrigerator. That first drink sealed the deal for me. I never wanted to drink that bile, tasteless shit ever again. I remember it as sludgy and syrupy. I practically yearned for Pepsi to bring back Crystal Pepsi rather than have my fellow Americans subjected to this form of punishment.
Was this some kind of elaborate joke? Did America really need a third variation of Lemon-Lime soda?
As time went on, this disgusting brand of nasty obvious gained a certain amount of market share, otherwise it would have been pulled from the shelves faster than Surge (remember that one?).
Whatever the case, Sierra Mist still exists but after looking at the logos through the soda's mere ten year history you'd quickly realize that PepsiCo would have been better off sticking with Lemon Lime Slice. Honestly, how do you expect to build brand recognition with a logo revision or outright overhaul every 30 months on average? That only works if your original product and its subsuquent alterations were straight-up shit. That's obviously the case as I'd rather drink water from my workplace's toilet than have another sip of Sierra Mist.
Oh, and if you haven't figured out what I though about the first time I drank Sierra Mist, I didn't like it very much.
Alright, move along and check out MinnPics and the stunning collection of photos from all across Minnesota - it's celebrating its second birthday today!
Was this some kind of elaborate joke? Did America really need a third variation of Lemon-Lime soda?
As time went on, this disgusting brand of nasty obvious gained a certain amount of market share, otherwise it would have been pulled from the shelves faster than Surge (remember that one?).
Whatever the case, Sierra Mist still exists but after looking at the logos through the soda's mere ten year history you'd quickly realize that PepsiCo would have been better off sticking with Lemon Lime Slice. Honestly, how do you expect to build brand recognition with a logo revision or outright overhaul every 30 months on average? That only works if your original product and its subsuquent alterations were straight-up shit. That's obviously the case as I'd rather drink water from my workplace's toilet than have another sip of Sierra Mist.
Oh, and if you haven't figured out what I though about the first time I drank Sierra Mist, I didn't like it very much.
Alright, move along and check out MinnPics and the stunning collection of photos from all across Minnesota - it's celebrating its second birthday today!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Lindsey Vonn's ass looks yummy
It's not ever day that a local girl makes the cover of Sports Illustrated but U.S. Olympic ski-team member Lindsey Vonn from right here in the Twin Cities has done just that. And she's garnered plenty of attention -- and controversy -- for looking damn fine in the process.
Now to a casual magazine reader, you'd think that it's just another magazine with an athlete featured on the cover. But with a rather rabid blogosphere eager to analyze every photo of anyone even mildly famous, it was only a matter of time before everyone with far too much time on their hands picked apart the soon-to-be-infamous Lindsey Vonn Sports Illustrated cover photo.
Now being that I'm a red-blooded American guy, I think she looks hot as hell. Being that she is basically a professional athlete, she has an incredibly toned body. She could probably kick my ass and, you know what, I'd let her. For one, it's not cool to beat up on a woman but secondly, she's a knockout and that pose was done intentionally.
Yeah, I know it's a typical skiing pose for downhill skiing but she isn't moving. There's no illusion of motion in that photo. She's just made to look like she's screaming down a snow-covered slope somewhere. And then there's the positioning of her rather taught rear end over the magazine's masthead. That's just another intentional move for a magazine geared at guys.
I could go on and on about the obvious layering of photos - one for the mountainous background, likely one for the setting sun and cloudy sky and a heavily airbrushed Lindsey Vonn. Nobody gets that dolled up to take a run down a ski slope and while I know that this was a photo shoot, the level of digital altering is bordering on ridiculous.
But in the end it's sex that sells. It sells everything and while I wouldn't buy Sports Illustrated just because Lindsey Vonn and her awesome ass graces the cover, millions of other guys would and while I criticize moves like this solely to sell a magazine, my job is much the same so I'll shut up now and do the right thing - drool over the curves and protruding, smackable ass of Lindsey Vonn.
If you feel dirty for reading this, check out the classy photos of Minnesota at MinnPics.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The crap peddled on cable TV
It's bad enough that a good chunk of the population shells out hard-earned cash each month - about 60 bucks - for the luxury of cable television. We do so because at the end of the day we're too exhausted to do much of anything because we stayed up too late the night before watching cable television and didn't get enough sleep. So that reason is rather cyclical. Some of us pay for cable television because we've forgotten how to read a book after so many years of cable television and then there are those of us who have it because it gets the children out of our hair long enough to go out in the back yard and pound back some vodka from a plastic jug and forget how sad our lives are.
I used to be the exception to the cable television rule. I grew up on the family farm far removed (5 miles) from the "big" city and thus did not have cable television. We had five channels - two of which were PBS (one from Iowa!) and didn't have FOX on our home's two televisions until late in the 1990s. Somehow - even if it did suck when the president was giving a speech carried on every network - I survived. Having all that time not spent glued to a TV probably got me to appreciate various types of music and had it not been for that relative "lack" of TV I probably would not have had the initiative to explore graphic design and would probably be even less employable than I am today.
But once I got married and we bought a house, rather than cut expenses we sprung for cable television. I had lived in my suburban bachelor apartment for two years with only the local channels and cable internet but my old lady insisted on 80 channels of mindless drivel. Sure, there are tidbits of entertainment and useful content there from time to time but in the end I could probably do without about 75% of the shit passed off as programming. I'd miss the Discovery channel but crap like WEtv and Animal Planet makes me want to smash my 231 lb. Sony and vomit in disgust over the fact that I pay for crap I have no interest in.
But what really pisses me off are the ads. At least one day on the weekend I get up when the toddler wants to get up and that's often around 7 AM. When I drag myself downstairs at 7 AM on a Saturday morning I flip on the TV because that's about all I have energy for at that ungodly time of the weekend. I expect to find at least one mildly entertaining program but after flipping through 70-plus channels I find little more than local news programs and paid advertisements for colon cleansing and exercise machines.
And the actual commercials look like videos for crap from the Lillian Vernon catalog...
So the cable channels get money from me for basically not watching their channels but paying because out of the 60 channel package I want 3 or 4 of these channels but they get more money for airing 8 or so hours of program length commercials - not to mention the standard 16 minutes per hour (or more) during their regular programming which costs substantially less than that aired on the big networks. With my disgust building and hating the fact that my kid could very well be raised by a TV if I don't intervene, what do I do? Should I dump all but the most basic channels and buy earplugs for when my old lady complains about being bored? Or should I finally move deep in to the woods and swear off society and technology once and for all?
I used to be the exception to the cable television rule. I grew up on the family farm far removed (5 miles) from the "big" city and thus did not have cable television. We had five channels - two of which were PBS (one from Iowa!) and didn't have FOX on our home's two televisions until late in the 1990s. Somehow - even if it did suck when the president was giving a speech carried on every network - I survived. Having all that time not spent glued to a TV probably got me to appreciate various types of music and had it not been for that relative "lack" of TV I probably would not have had the initiative to explore graphic design and would probably be even less employable than I am today.
But once I got married and we bought a house, rather than cut expenses we sprung for cable television. I had lived in my suburban bachelor apartment for two years with only the local channels and cable internet but my old lady insisted on 80 channels of mindless drivel. Sure, there are tidbits of entertainment and useful content there from time to time but in the end I could probably do without about 75% of the shit passed off as programming. I'd miss the Discovery channel but crap like WEtv and Animal Planet makes me want to smash my 231 lb. Sony and vomit in disgust over the fact that I pay for crap I have no interest in.
But what really pisses me off are the ads. At least one day on the weekend I get up when the toddler wants to get up and that's often around 7 AM. When I drag myself downstairs at 7 AM on a Saturday morning I flip on the TV because that's about all I have energy for at that ungodly time of the weekend. I expect to find at least one mildly entertaining program but after flipping through 70-plus channels I find little more than local news programs and paid advertisements for colon cleansing and exercise machines.
And the actual commercials look like videos for crap from the Lillian Vernon catalog...So the cable channels get money from me for basically not watching their channels but paying because out of the 60 channel package I want 3 or 4 of these channels but they get more money for airing 8 or so hours of program length commercials - not to mention the standard 16 minutes per hour (or more) during their regular programming which costs substantially less than that aired on the big networks. With my disgust building and hating the fact that my kid could very well be raised by a TV if I don't intervene, what do I do? Should I dump all but the most basic channels and buy earplugs for when my old lady complains about being bored? Or should I finally move deep in to the woods and swear off society and technology once and for all?
My best advice is to avoid it all and check out the photos at MinnPics. It's quickly skyrocketing towards being the best Minnesota photo blog hosted on Blogger showcasing the awesome photography of others - quite the feat.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
It cures heartburn or ass pain?
Last night I saw a commercial for a poorly named product. It was called Aciphex. Say that in your head a couple times then say it aloud. Aciphex. Now think to yourself what this product would be used for.
My question to marketers is this: When you develop a name for a product, do you do some research about how people perceive the potential name(s) of said product?
Of course, my immediate reaction to the product Aciphex was boisterous laughter. It sounded too much like "Asseffects" to me from the living room-adjacent dining room and that is not good marketing but it's good for a laugh.
See how one could become confused with an utterly ridiculous product name like Aciphex (Asseffects)? My suggestion for anyone - cottage industries to Fortune 500 conglomerates - is to rigorously evaluate product names with a wide swath of the population because based on the YouTube comments for this commercial I am definitely not alone in finding the name both hilarious and tragic. Sure, when it's neatly spelled out it becomes clear that Aciphex is for relief of acid reflux or indigestion but when the name is just spoken it sounds like just another solution for ass-related problems.
And if you like bad products - check out some of my own real-life variations from last year.
Yep, while things here take a dive towards juvenile humor, MinnPics keeps it classy with a wide variety of Minnesota photos updated daily - check it out now!
My question to marketers is this: When you develop a name for a product, do you do some research about how people perceive the potential name(s) of said product?
Of course, my immediate reaction to the product Aciphex was boisterous laughter. It sounded too much like "Asseffects" to me from the living room-adjacent dining room and that is not good marketing but it's good for a laugh.
See how one could become confused with an utterly ridiculous product name like Aciphex (Asseffects)? My suggestion for anyone - cottage industries to Fortune 500 conglomerates - is to rigorously evaluate product names with a wide swath of the population because based on the YouTube comments for this commercial I am definitely not alone in finding the name both hilarious and tragic. Sure, when it's neatly spelled out it becomes clear that Aciphex is for relief of acid reflux or indigestion but when the name is just spoken it sounds like just another solution for ass-related problems.
And if you like bad products - check out some of my own real-life variations from last year.
Yep, while things here take a dive towards juvenile humor, MinnPics keeps it classy with a wide variety of Minnesota photos updated daily - check it out now!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Missing: one Arby's oven mitt
It wasn't too long ago that you couldn't flip through your 74 channels of rap on the TV box and not see an Arby's commercial featuring the Arby's oven mitt. The series of commercials felt like total overkill and I started to wonder how long this could last. I imagined in my mind a world of Arby's oven mitt marketing. A near endless string of ads featuring the Arby's oven mitt meeting a female mitt. The two going on a date, sharing an order of potato cakes. Mr. and Mrs. Arby's oven mitt eventually getting married in a ceremony presided over by a weepy Arby's manager who is overcome with joy to see such a perfect union take place in his very own Arby's lobby.
I even imagined that the commercials, in online-only form, could take a more adult but still humorous twist. Picture Mr. & Mrs. Mitt getting all hot and heavy in the Arby's storage room. Madly oven mitt humping each other with sweat running down their brows. Mr. Oven Mitt forgetting, in the heat of the moment, to use any sort of protection (I envisioned a rubber glove) and four months later (oven mitts have a shorter gestational period) a commercial shot on some stainless steel surface in the Arby's kitchen where a screaming Mrs. Arby's oven mitt pushes as ste original star, Mr. Mitt, encourages his pregnant oven mitt wife to push out their baby. Cut to the tired but happy couple holding their new bundle of joy - a crying, tiny oven mitt is born and the circle of Arby's oven mitt life continues.
But no, none of this glorious story happened. Instead, we got the entire series of ads featuring the rather phallic foam Arby's outline hat. Oh, I get it, everyone's thinking Arby's and doing that gives them all huge erections. It's a fucking genius play on words and imagery. But what about our forgotten friend - the Arby's oven mitt? What has become of our forgotten little man?
I picture the single, unemployed Arby's oven mitt living under a freeway underpass in a large metropolitan area. He's struggled to find other commercial work but being an oven mitt who talks and has only done commercial endorsements for one national ast food chain leaves you as sort of a one-trick pony. So our oven mitt friend scrapes up a few pennies here and there begging for change. He's scruffy and unbathed. He wreaks of alcohol because it's the only way he knows to numb the pain. He's even resorted to performing sexual favors but that only leaves him feeling even dirtier and in need of blocking out the horriffic things he's done in his darkest hours.
All this because some huge, multi-national corporation thought that the Arby's oven mitt's story was done and they could just move on and he'd be soon forgotten. Well, I haven't forgotten and neither has he. Let's never forget the Arby's oven mitt and if anyone at Arby's is reading this, I have plenty of amazing ideas that could bring this commercial icon back.
If this whole ode to the oven mitt made you sick, MinnPics redeems things. Check out what happened over the weekend and other rare gems.
I even imagined that the commercials, in online-only form, could take a more adult but still humorous twist. Picture Mr. & Mrs. Mitt getting all hot and heavy in the Arby's storage room. Madly oven mitt humping each other with sweat running down their brows. Mr. Oven Mitt forgetting, in the heat of the moment, to use any sort of protection (I envisioned a rubber glove) and four months later (oven mitts have a shorter gestational period) a commercial shot on some stainless steel surface in the Arby's kitchen where a screaming Mrs. Arby's oven mitt pushes as ste original star, Mr. Mitt, encourages his pregnant oven mitt wife to push out their baby. Cut to the tired but happy couple holding their new bundle of joy - a crying, tiny oven mitt is born and the circle of Arby's oven mitt life continues.
But no, none of this glorious story happened. Instead, we got the entire series of ads featuring the rather phallic foam Arby's outline hat. Oh, I get it, everyone's thinking Arby's and doing that gives them all huge erections. It's a fucking genius play on words and imagery. But what about our forgotten friend - the Arby's oven mitt? What has become of our forgotten little man?
I picture the single, unemployed Arby's oven mitt living under a freeway underpass in a large metropolitan area. He's struggled to find other commercial work but being an oven mitt who talks and has only done commercial endorsements for one national ast food chain leaves you as sort of a one-trick pony. So our oven mitt friend scrapes up a few pennies here and there begging for change. He's scruffy and unbathed. He wreaks of alcohol because it's the only way he knows to numb the pain. He's even resorted to performing sexual favors but that only leaves him feeling even dirtier and in need of blocking out the horriffic things he's done in his darkest hours.
All this because some huge, multi-national corporation thought that the Arby's oven mitt's story was done and they could just move on and he'd be soon forgotten. Well, I haven't forgotten and neither has he. Let's never forget the Arby's oven mitt and if anyone at Arby's is reading this, I have plenty of amazing ideas that could bring this commercial icon back.
If this whole ode to the oven mitt made you sick, MinnPics redeems things. Check out what happened over the weekend and other rare gems.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
It's "Aspray" not AssSpray
Sometimes a product is so ridiculous, it deserves attention just for its ridiculousness. Doc Bottom's Aspray is one of those products. The name itself is something a 42 year old guy thought up while either drunk with friends at a nasty strip club or by an 18 year old huffing paint in his basement with some loser friends. I'm actually surprised that I hadn't yet thought of the name "Doc Bottom" because my mind resides squarely in that particular area. I may have already thought of the idea of ass and "private parts" (balls/taint) deodorant because, well, when there's a problem I'm always looking for a solution.
Oh well, I think I'll stick to my Right Guard.. for now.
And I'll keep things classy with MinnPics. Killer photos from every corner of Minnesota every damn day.
Oh well, I think I'll stick to my Right Guard.. for now.
And I'll keep things classy with MinnPics. Killer photos from every corner of Minnesota every damn day.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Advertising has apparently gotten very cheap
I know that the economy is in the crapper but it's even more apparent when you listen to the radio. The products and services advertised wouldn't be able to afford advertising unless the rates were so low and the products and services seem to be custom-tailored for a time where 3 out of 10 people are perched on the ledge ready to jump from the nearest tall building. But what about the products? What are they and what do they promise?
Quietus: A product, in a chewable pill, that eliminates the ringing in your ears caused by machinery, electronic devices and loud music. The commercial even mentioned some sort of medical term for the "problem". I rank this one right up there with fibromyalgia and restless leg syndrome in the medical-problems-we-didn't-know-we-had-until-a-cure-was-invented file.
Bio-Life Plasma Services: Sell your plasma (blood). Hey, you can do it twice a month and pocket a couple hundred bucks. It only takes an hour each time and, let's face it, all you're doing is eating Ramen and watching a marathon of Spongebob Squarepants episodes. I have a feeling that business has definitely increased at places like this because two of the most popular ways for college kids to earn cash easily is to donate sperm or sell plasma - now those trends have just moved on to the general population.
ComputerTraining.com: In just 6 months you can become a certified IT Professional. It's easy and you'll become that person at your office who is irreplaceable. Wow, I didn't know that I could learn everything there is to know about PCs and the technology that supports them in a mere six months. Hell, I'm going to their website right now because I believe every claim I hear on the radio and if they have a website it lends that much more credibility to their business model.
And there are tons of others, too, who are taking advantage both of the rock-bottom ad rates on radio and the gullibility of Americans. Then there's Google AdSense. Since when has Google spent a dime to advertise anywhere?
But the best advertising is word of mouth and that's apparently how people find MinnPics. Awesome photos all about Minnesota!
Quietus: A product, in a chewable pill, that eliminates the ringing in your ears caused by machinery, electronic devices and loud music. The commercial even mentioned some sort of medical term for the "problem". I rank this one right up there with fibromyalgia and restless leg syndrome in the medical-problems-we-didn't-know-we-had-until-a-cure-was-invented file.
Bio-Life Plasma Services: Sell your plasma (blood). Hey, you can do it twice a month and pocket a couple hundred bucks. It only takes an hour each time and, let's face it, all you're doing is eating Ramen and watching a marathon of Spongebob Squarepants episodes. I have a feeling that business has definitely increased at places like this because two of the most popular ways for college kids to earn cash easily is to donate sperm or sell plasma - now those trends have just moved on to the general population.
ComputerTraining.com: In just 6 months you can become a certified IT Professional. It's easy and you'll become that person at your office who is irreplaceable. Wow, I didn't know that I could learn everything there is to know about PCs and the technology that supports them in a mere six months. Hell, I'm going to their website right now because I believe every claim I hear on the radio and if they have a website it lends that much more credibility to their business model.
And there are tons of others, too, who are taking advantage both of the rock-bottom ad rates on radio and the gullibility of Americans. Then there's Google AdSense. Since when has Google spent a dime to advertise anywhere?
But the best advertising is word of mouth and that's apparently how people find MinnPics. Awesome photos all about Minnesota!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Pepsi vs. Coke in logos
I'm not some sort of soda junkie but I do pay attention to the logo, design and marketing trends of the "big guys". I don't really see much in the way of a true cola war because, let's face it, you aren't going to change anyone's opinion. Flavor is a subjective thing and one person's opinion isn't going to change that of another.
The logos, though, are what intrigue me. Pepsi (Pepsi-cola) has has an always evolving string of logos since their inception. Coke (Coca-Cola) on the other hand has stayed the course. Sure, Coke has changed the design of their cans by adding a sprinkling of yellow for a time but they recently went back to a simplistic red motif that harkens back to their roots. It's almost like Coke realizes that they have a deep and strong heritage and both rely and build on that. Pepsi seems to be going in the exact opposite direction. They have thrown away any shred of heritage in favor of being trendy. I personally feel that Pepsi's first few iterations of their logo were merely minor tweaks in the typography. The basic idea was still the same and those, if they had stuck with it, could have been even more iconic than Coke's unchanging logo.
The ultimate lesson here is that if it ain't broke, don't fix it and by that I can assume that Pepsi is broken.
Now that you're visually aware, visit MinnPics and see what you missed this past weekend and find out what you shouldn't miss next weekend!
The logos, though, are what intrigue me. Pepsi (Pepsi-cola) has has an always evolving string of logos since their inception. Coke (Coca-Cola) on the other hand has stayed the course. Sure, Coke has changed the design of their cans by adding a sprinkling of yellow for a time but they recently went back to a simplistic red motif that harkens back to their roots. It's almost like Coke realizes that they have a deep and strong heritage and both rely and build on that. Pepsi seems to be going in the exact opposite direction. They have thrown away any shred of heritage in favor of being trendy. I personally feel that Pepsi's first few iterations of their logo were merely minor tweaks in the typography. The basic idea was still the same and those, if they had stuck with it, could have been even more iconic than Coke's unchanging logo.
The ultimate lesson here is that if it ain't broke, don't fix it and by that I can assume that Pepsi is broken.
Now that you're visually aware, visit MinnPics and see what you missed this past weekend and find out what you shouldn't miss next weekend!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
An innovation in wiping technology
Have you ever cringed at the thought of having to wipe your own ass? Does it disgust you to have your digits so close to the local sewage treatment plant? Are you unable to reach all the way back to your gaping ass crack?
If so, Comfort Wipe is for you.
Ah, where to begin?
If you need a wand to attach your toilet paper to, you have more problems than can be solved by a toilet paper holding wand. And if you're too big to reach around your own body, you probably do need to poop more but throw in some exercise too. Am I alone in finding this extremely disgusting?
Now that you're thouroughly disgusted, hop on over to MinnPics and check out the photos from across Minnesota taken by ultra-talented Minnesotans. Don't forget about the huge MinnPics first birthday week beginning July 7th. It's HUGE!
If so, Comfort Wipe is for you.
Ah, where to begin?
If you need a wand to attach your toilet paper to, you have more problems than can be solved by a toilet paper holding wand. And if you're too big to reach around your own body, you probably do need to poop more but throw in some exercise too. Am I alone in finding this extremely disgusting?
Now that you're thouroughly disgusted, hop on over to MinnPics and check out the photos from across Minnesota taken by ultra-talented Minnesotans. Don't forget about the huge MinnPics first birthday week beginning July 7th. It's HUGE!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Quizno's makes porn for sandwich lovers
Quizno's knows how to lower the bar. In an effort to bring the whole "2 Girls, 1 Cup" disgusting video back to life, the company that recently implied that a dude was about to make sweet love to his Quizno's sub machine has done it again with "2 Girls, 1 Sub". It's not exactly commercial length but the production values scream professional effort and there was obviously some money put in to the making of the longer-than-usual commercial. It's not just somewhat racy, it's overtly pornographic. I'm surprised one of the swimsuit-clad models didn't pull her bottoms off and pleasure herself with the Quizno's Torpedo sub. Maybe we'd call that "Quiznoing yourself".
(Via @emilysaysso)
Whatever the case, take the commercial for a spin and ask yourself this: would you feel at least somewhat ashamed of yourself if one of your children saw this on TV?
For something on the wholesome side, check out MinnPics. The name says it all, photos by Minnesotans in Minnesota about Minnesota.
(Via @emilysaysso)
Whatever the case, take the commercial for a spin and ask yourself this: would you feel at least somewhat ashamed of yourself if one of your children saw this on TV?
For something on the wholesome side, check out MinnPics. The name says it all, photos by Minnesotans in Minnesota about Minnesota.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Interesting website idea #89 - all about poo
Now that I'm done with heavy topics for the day, I can get back to what's important. Poop. More specifically - websites about poop. In this era of social networking and sharing (or oversharing) everyone has a scheme in mind. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace... each has its purpose. Then there's Flickr - it does its task - sharing photos - quite well. But Twitter and Flickr are broad websites. The future is all about niche publishing/sharing.
That's why I present you with shitter.
That's why I present you with shitter.
What the world needed was a quick-share website about all things bathroom. I can see the flood of posts now.
"Just dropped off a 14 incher. It hurt. Alot."
"Flooded the crapper in stall two, penguin walked to stall three to finish"
"Caught up on magazine reading, paint began peeling."
It's the next logical step in the sharing of every moment of our lives for all the world to read. Give shitter a home and some funding to get it off the ground. It's a surefire goldmine.
While things take a decided lowbrow turn in these parts, MinnPics continues its never-ending quest for quality photos taken in Minnesota. Check it out today.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Interesting website idea #34a
Holding true to last year's summer theme of products which shouldn't have been (and thankfully aren't) I present you with company logos which are just screaming for some creative tweaking.
I'm not the first to do this to logos because I've seen some rather crude rip-offs where foreign companies change one letter and call it good. Maybe these "companies" I've created actually exist. I didn't exactly do a ton of research and feel free to take this logo and the others I have performed my own little hatchet job on and build a damn empire. Go crazy, make millions. Just remember who gave you these killer ideas.
Think of the possibilities for BoobTube. Fully clothed, topless or somewhere in between. I'm thinking a special section on this user-created video website for chest-focused mud wrestling ladies. Now BoobTube doesn't have to be an "adult" website, in fact it would have a broader appeal as a fully clothed site. BoobTube is whatever you like it to be in the end and if I have offended anyone, meh.
Remember to check out MinnPics for the latest on happenings, sites and scenes from the most kick-ass photogs in Minnesota.
I'm not the first to do this to logos because I've seen some rather crude rip-offs where foreign companies change one letter and call it good. Maybe these "companies" I've created actually exist. I didn't exactly do a ton of research and feel free to take this logo and the others I have performed my own little hatchet job on and build a damn empire. Go crazy, make millions. Just remember who gave you these killer ideas.
Think of the possibilities for BoobTube. Fully clothed, topless or somewhere in between. I'm thinking a special section on this user-created video website for chest-focused mud wrestling ladies. Now BoobTube doesn't have to be an "adult" website, in fact it would have a broader appeal as a fully clothed site. BoobTube is whatever you like it to be in the end and if I have offended anyone, meh.
Remember to check out MinnPics for the latest on happenings, sites and scenes from the most kick-ass photogs in Minnesota.
Friday, February 27, 2009
The death of the Rocky Mountain News
Today marked the final edition of the Rocky Mountain News. For those unfamiliar, it was one of Denver, Colorado's two daily newspapers.
This twenty-plus minute video is a bit on the long side but also rather captivating.
Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo.
Many opinions were expressed in this video but the one that stuck with me is the observation that as life and technology and information moves at the speed of light, are we overlooking the small, tangible things such as the physical newspaper. Are we in danger of losing all things physical? Has the internet devalued everything and, in part, contributed to the current financial situation?
I'm heavily invested in all things online and live with all my technology. I've got more than a few feet of Cat-5 wiring running in my house. My cable modem is always on. My iPod and cell are nearly always on me during the work week. I spend many hours weekly online, not just blogging but also managing a multitude of tasks associated with my daily workflow. The advent on the internet and its rapid growth made my job both easier and more multi-faceted. I've taken on additional tasks, learned more skills than I ever thought necessary just a decade ago and have seen the entire advertising landscape change. Advertising, which drives our ravenous retail economy, recently collapsed on itself (in case you hadn't noticed). Everything essentially spiraled out of control and I think that the devaluation caused by the free online model is at least partially to blame. In inside speak, online journalism can be monetized. It can generate a profit and it can thrive and, in a turnabout, support the physical printed newspaper much as the print operations of today pay plenty of the way for the online presence.
But whatever caused the loss of just one daily newspaper, for some reason, really sticks with me. Everything lives and dies with advertising and another tangible product that had a strong virtual and physical presence was laid to rest.
Be sure to watch the video in its entirety as the seemingly endless credits roll. Those are the hundreds of people who, as of tomorrow, are unemployed because their employer had a rough ride for a year. Things don't turn around in a year. Things don't turn around without some faith in the business you run.
This twenty-plus minute video is a bit on the long side but also rather captivating.
Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo.
Many opinions were expressed in this video but the one that stuck with me is the observation that as life and technology and information moves at the speed of light, are we overlooking the small, tangible things such as the physical newspaper. Are we in danger of losing all things physical? Has the internet devalued everything and, in part, contributed to the current financial situation?
I'm heavily invested in all things online and live with all my technology. I've got more than a few feet of Cat-5 wiring running in my house. My cable modem is always on. My iPod and cell are nearly always on me during the work week. I spend many hours weekly online, not just blogging but also managing a multitude of tasks associated with my daily workflow. The advent on the internet and its rapid growth made my job both easier and more multi-faceted. I've taken on additional tasks, learned more skills than I ever thought necessary just a decade ago and have seen the entire advertising landscape change. Advertising, which drives our ravenous retail economy, recently collapsed on itself (in case you hadn't noticed). Everything essentially spiraled out of control and I think that the devaluation caused by the free online model is at least partially to blame. In inside speak, online journalism can be monetized. It can generate a profit and it can thrive and, in a turnabout, support the physical printed newspaper much as the print operations of today pay plenty of the way for the online presence.
But whatever caused the loss of just one daily newspaper, for some reason, really sticks with me. Everything lives and dies with advertising and another tangible product that had a strong virtual and physical presence was laid to rest.
Be sure to watch the video in its entirety as the seemingly endless credits roll. Those are the hundreds of people who, as of tomorrow, are unemployed because their employer had a rough ride for a year. Things don't turn around in a year. Things don't turn around without some faith in the business you run.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
DQ's not so good deal
Never mind that City Pages, a sorry excuse for local journalism, has already knocked on the door of a Dairy Queen topic. There's more to it that the writer, whose memory may be short, didn't cover. (And yes, their Sweet Deals menu does suck) I'm talking about their cheeseburger deal.Dairy Queen recently began running television ads featuring two cheeseburgers for $2.99 or two double cheeseburgers for $3.99. It's a solid deal during these financially barren times. Where else could you grab a couple dblchzbrgrs for just shy of four bucks?
How about from Dairy Queen (video of commercial) mere months ago? Yep, their Cheeseburger Lovers deal featured a $2.22/$3.33 offer as recent as this past autumn. I think it even ran into the early winter months (November?).
Yes, the difference is less than a buck but when you're touting a supposedly fabulous deal when the remnants of the previous deal featuring the same food is still rather prominent on your own Facebook page, you might want to either remove that particular video or matching the former sale price. After all, the raw material cost for cheese has dropped dramatically in the past few months. Is honesty thrown out the window in the realm of restaurant marketing?
Am I alone in noticing this or calling DQ out on their dishonest pricing?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Is it wrong to say that I am fearful?
In case you've been living under a fucking rock for the past year or so, all forms of media are tanking. There's no kind way that I could say this because it's reality. It's happening more and more frequently and I could list all of the victims of the recent media layoff but with KARE 11 tv laying people off and forcing all employees to take one week of unpaid time off, WCCO tv laying off employees, KSTP tv doing the same and the Star-Tribune filing for bankruptcy. Then there's Minneapolis/St. Paul magazine firing Brian Lambert and another Twin Cities veteran writer.
The sad thing is that this list is short. There have been far more cuts than these which have taken place in the past few weeks. It leaves the media landscape not a leaner operation but one that seems nearly gutted. Can a bare-bones staff fearful for their jobs at every turn be effective in producing and investigating news? Can their support staff, fearful of the same outcome, be effective in their jobs? Will this be the final downturn that leaves us with a media landscape that is a pure laughingstock? What will become of the media companies who cut too far? Is there even a place in the world of tomorrow for the evolving "traditional" media outlets?
Where does that leave these talented writers, producers, cameramen, reporters, personalities and the numerous behind-the-scenes employees of these media outlets? While the evolve-or-die mantra has certainly become true, has it happened too fast?
I hate to think what the media I rely on today will look like at the end of the year. Even more frightening is what the landscape will look like by Spring of 2010 (when I expect everything to begin recovering - slowly). Will I, as a media employee (no, I won't say where or specifically what I do), still have the same job duties or even a job by then? I am at least hopeful in that aspect because I like to think that I understand the buzzworthy trends that are rocking the media world. I've picked up the basic skills over the years that I need to make things work and thankfully I can grasp the new skills needed when they are unleashed.
So there it is in a nutshell. The media landscape - and the world - will not come out of this deep and painful, but necessary, recession (greed and stupidity fucked us all) anywhere near the same as they are now. This will either lead to the richest experience for entertainment and media we have ever witnessed or things will be bleak, bland and totally lacking the personality and skill that is growing and evolving and learning currently.
I am rooting for the former scenario. While you can currently listen to hundreds of hours of music from your iPod which goes everywhere and fits in your pocket, it's lacking the personality and warmth that we still crave and that was lost yesterday and is being lost nearly every day. Hopefully the suits running the world realize that entertainment of any form needs personality. It's what sets the traditional, but evolving, media apart from the "new" media.
Sadly, though, everything hinges on advertising and until those dollars come back into play, things will flat out suck but they will come back but in a wildly different format. A format that I can't wait to see or even be a part of creating.
The sad thing is that this list is short. There have been far more cuts than these which have taken place in the past few weeks. It leaves the media landscape not a leaner operation but one that seems nearly gutted. Can a bare-bones staff fearful for their jobs at every turn be effective in producing and investigating news? Can their support staff, fearful of the same outcome, be effective in their jobs? Will this be the final downturn that leaves us with a media landscape that is a pure laughingstock? What will become of the media companies who cut too far? Is there even a place in the world of tomorrow for the evolving "traditional" media outlets?
Where does that leave these talented writers, producers, cameramen, reporters, personalities and the numerous behind-the-scenes employees of these media outlets? While the evolve-or-die mantra has certainly become true, has it happened too fast?
I hate to think what the media I rely on today will look like at the end of the year. Even more frightening is what the landscape will look like by Spring of 2010 (when I expect everything to begin recovering - slowly). Will I, as a media employee (no, I won't say where or specifically what I do), still have the same job duties or even a job by then? I am at least hopeful in that aspect because I like to think that I understand the buzzworthy trends that are rocking the media world. I've picked up the basic skills over the years that I need to make things work and thankfully I can grasp the new skills needed when they are unleashed.
So there it is in a nutshell. The media landscape - and the world - will not come out of this deep and painful, but necessary, recession (greed and stupidity fucked us all) anywhere near the same as they are now. This will either lead to the richest experience for entertainment and media we have ever witnessed or things will be bleak, bland and totally lacking the personality and skill that is growing and evolving and learning currently.
I am rooting for the former scenario. While you can currently listen to hundreds of hours of music from your iPod which goes everywhere and fits in your pocket, it's lacking the personality and warmth that we still crave and that was lost yesterday and is being lost nearly every day. Hopefully the suits running the world realize that entertainment of any form needs personality. It's what sets the traditional, but evolving, media apart from the "new" media.
Sadly, though, everything hinges on advertising and until those dollars come back into play, things will flat out suck but they will come back but in a wildly different format. A format that I can't wait to see or even be a part of creating.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I call it "Boy with Cigarette"
For many years we've heard the damned liberal media pedaling their outright lies about tobacco companies marketing their products to children. I don't know about you but I've never seen the Marlboro man during The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. Maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention. Maybe every frame of the animation prominently featured Joe Camel's penis nose. Again, I didn't see it.
But sometimes companies (me) go too far and the advertising message is so obvious that Ray Charles could see it.
I present to you my latest creation, Flavor Country.
I'm aware that it won't sit well with some people but breathe deeply for a second and consider how ridiculous it is. And then remember that I have a very real problem taking anything seriously.Once you're done pondering the ridiculousness of this faux advertising message, head over to MinnPics and bask in the greatness of the photos featured there from Minnesota's most skilled amateur photographers.
Monday, November 24, 2008
You can still get your FREE Dr. Pepper
Yes, even though I missed what was supposed to be the only day to get my free 20 oz. bottle of delicious Dr. Pepper, I — along with the rest of America can still grab the soda until 6 PM EST today (Monday, Nov. 24, 2008).
It seems a logical decision to extend the offer due to Dr. Pepper's website being beyond slammed throughout the day Sunday (and today as I cannot get my free soda). Whether the traffic was actually far too much to handle or Dr. Pepper came into this stunt woefully underprepared may never be seen. Hell, maybe they really don't want to make good with this rather costly promotion. Ah, I love a good conspiracy theory.
Oh, and about that Guns 'n Roses Chinese Democracy disc, even after letting that shit age for 14 years it's still just that, shit.
And Dr. Pepper isn't the only thing that is free. MinnPics, home of all things great in Minnesota photography, remains free because that's how I roll.
It seems a logical decision to extend the offer due to Dr. Pepper's website being beyond slammed throughout the day Sunday (and today as I cannot get my free soda). Whether the traffic was actually far too much to handle or Dr. Pepper came into this stunt woefully underprepared may never be seen. Hell, maybe they really don't want to make good with this rather costly promotion. Ah, I love a good conspiracy theory.
Oh, and about that Guns 'n Roses Chinese Democracy disc, even after letting that shit age for 14 years it's still just that, shit.
And Dr. Pepper isn't the only thing that is free. MinnPics, home of all things great in Minnesota photography, remains free because that's how I roll.
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