Chelsea Clinton engaged

This has little to do with Chelsea Clinton being engaged and more to do with the photo slideshow accompanying the story.

You can see in the slideshow how much Ms. Clinton's appearance has changed over the years. I remember her as the somewhat geeky looking kid in the White House from the early-90s. Then I saw some photos of her last year. She ain't half bad.

Then I saw this photo.

Apparently it was a bit cold this day as Clinton's obvious nipples seem to say. Not being a woman, I have no idea what it's like to have the old turkey timers pop up. I'd assume that wearing a padded bra would remedy the situation and prevent future nipple protrusions like this. So, gone is my memory of Chelsea Clinton as the awkward teen in the White House. It has been replaced by a rather attractive version of Chelsea Clinton complete with perked-up nipples.

That is the evolution of my mind.

If you want photos not of the nipple sort, check out MinnPics. It's the classy side of yours truly.

Why cooperatives and networks work

As I read this transcript about the evolution of news gathering and how the future involves cooperation, I was reminded of a conversation I had with my dad on Thanksgiving day. As we sat eating some late afternoon dessert, he casually mentioned how farms around theirs were quickly swapping hands. Be it auctions with others purchasing the land or simply a change in renters of the farms it got my mind running. I quickly did the math (as my dad has done numerous times) and realized the potential yearly income they were sitting on. Then, as we talked more, I realized what is happening around them.

It all clicked for me today after I read that link above. My dad had explained that the ever-escalating rent prices - as high as $310/acre - were possibly because a group of farmers spanning a distance of well over 20 miles had teamed up. The moderately-sized operators partnered with a grain elevator, a chemical/fertilizer supplier, an equipment dealer and a seed company and, with the backing of what I assume are wholesale prices for their supplies and a bank eager to toss out truckloads of cash, had quickly amassed over 20,000 acres of land with a goal of acquiring 30,000 acres.

To put this in perspective, the average size of a "family" farm in my parent's area ranges from 1,000-2,000 acres. Some is owned, some is rented. They typically own their machinery and operate on somewhat slim margins. My parents were paying $120/acre rent which, after 23 years of renting one farm, had finally put them in the black financially.

That kind of business (at that size it's far, far beyond the scope of a farm) would be impossible to run with just one family and a few employees. Even if the partnership were just the farmer pooling their collective resources it would still be impossible. Without an epic amount of planning it's a logistical nightmare full of potential problems. But when you factor in the logistical resources and technological knowhow of those ag-related businesses it becomes manageable. Every aspect of the operation, when the businesses are factored in, is instantly manageable because those businesses already have people on staff or know of people who have the skills necessary to keep the wheels of such a mammoth operation moving with nary a hiccup.

While a mega-farm like the one we discussed over pumpkin pie is most certainly the end for small farmers like my parents, it actually makes sense when looked at from a business perspective. It's typical of what's happening in every facet of business. Lean times mean slim margins. But those slim margins are margins of scale and if you can multiply them enough times - barring any sort of natural disaster - you have some rather impressive profits. That's exactly what these farmers - farmers who have fought the same yearly battles my parents have - have realized. With wise decisions and smart partnerships - those who don't take huge chunks of the profits - every business can survive.

But don't expect my parents to take up an offer for that sky-high rent when they retire. They would b surrounded by furious neighbors who would likely run them out of town. Sure, business is business but those friendships with those neighbors run generations deep. Eventually someone's feelings will get hurt but in any case it's just business.

If you want something less mundane, check out the photos at MinnPics. They are there to captivate you.

The ultimate Thanksgiving food guide

The best ideas are stolen but if you combine a whole bunch of ideas you are aggregating them and that's totally cool. SO without further ado it's time for the ultimate Thanksgiving food guide.

Pumpkin pie:

the canned pumpkin was more charismatic in flavor and hue

I can attest to this. I grew up in a frugal (cheap) home and my mom grew one of everything in her expansive garden on the farm. The most intriguing (to her, anyway) was her bumper crop one year of pie pumpkins. They're relatively dainty next to their Jack-o-Lantern counterparts and are bred for baking. (Trust me, the pumpkin from your typical Jack-o-Lantern tastes as close to shit as I are to venture). My bakin'-fool mom cooked up a few of the round pumpkins and scooped out the good stuff and made a couple pies. Now if you've read my Twitter bio you know I claim to be a lover of pies. Well these home-brewed creations nearly ruined me. They were simply disappointing and at the ripe old age of eight I swore off home-grown pie pumpkins as did my mom. Really, what's easier - baking up a pumpkin which you've scooped free of seeds or opening a can? Winner: can.

Vegetables:

the green bean casserole was a mushy, revolting mess

As far as Thanksgiving vegetables go, they tend to get the short end of the stick. When was the last time somebody jumped out of their chair and shouted "Damn, that sweet corn was so good I almost pissed myself"? It's because vegetables, while tasty, are largely just a side dish. They don't get the pre- or post-preparation attention that the turkey gets. And some people do horrible things to their vegetables. They scallop the corn, they casserole the green beans and they put - gasp - marshmallows on the candied sweet potatoes. Now as far as vegetables go I am a huge fan of candied sweet potatoes. We have them probably once a month and they're so good that you'd mess yourself but sorry, you can't have my recipe. Stick with the tried and true veggies: sweet corn and sweet potatoes.

Gravy:

don't put it on everything, it smells like it's burned

That was the warning uttered plenty loud for everyone in the room to hear a couple years ago at my in-laws' Thanksgiving dinner but my brother-in-law still went ahead with covering every inch of his plate with the obviously burnt gravy. The problem was that it was homemade and in the rush to prepare everything else the gravy got neglected. It happens but it doens't need to. The simpler options include powder puuch mixes, canned gravy and jarred gravy. Sure, it doesn't always taste like homemade but when homemade tastes like a tire fire homemade may not be the best standard by which to judge.

I won't venture in to turkey territory because I have yet to perfect the poultry side of the meal. My turkey typically turns out a bit on the dry side even with stuffing half of a stick of margarine under the breast skin of the bird and basting the Jennie-O every thirty minutes. It also needs more salt than I typically shake on. But in the end it's still more than edible. Now if anyone has a killer pie crust recipe and secrets for rolling it out to perfection, drop it in the comments.

I know that basically nobody besides myself will be near a computer for the next few days but that doesn't mean you can't take a break and check out MinnPics. This long weekend should be interesting.

I've become a teenaged girl

No, I didn't catch the premiere of the newest "Twilight" movie but I have mocked a few people I know who did wait in lines to see it. I just don't understand that movie and I am fairly certain that I never will.

My teenage girl complex lies with the music which has been catching my ears lately. I am ashamed to admit it but at thirty years old I have developed the musical tastes of a twelve year-old girl. I turn the radio up (if it's on) when I'm in the car and "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus comes on. I silence the wife when I catch "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and I even went as far as YouTubing this recent song by Ke$ha (and yes, it's a totally stupid name).



The title even reads like it was written by a twelve year-old in txt spk. "Tik Tok". Really. What the hell has happened to me? I've even put one of the aforementioned songs on my iPod and if any of my friends were to get their hands on my iPod I'd never hear the end of it.

But that's where it stops for now. I haven't taken to taping (yes, I live in the stoneage without a DVR) anything on MTV. I didn't even know that the American Music Awards were on TV last night as I was watching "Storm Chasers" on Discovery and I don't understand that appeal of most of the shows on The CW. So does this mean that I have to turn in my man card or can I write this off as some sort of early midlife crisis?

Even with so much internal conflict, MinnPics still has the same quality photos of Minnesota that you've come to expect since mid-2008.

Recognizing your mistakes can make you stronger

I understand it. Bad things often happen to good people. Maybe those things are a blessing in disguise. Whatever the case is, those bad things are usually enexpected. It's like being punched in the gut, having your car broken in to and going home to find that your house burned down while you were at court fighting a parking ticket that was mailed to you from a city you've never visited. It's the ultimate bad day.

In these current "uncertain times" (extended shitty period) that kind of crap happens every day (my tweet from earlier proves how even I let my nerves get to me). It happens to people who don't deserve it. It happens to people because someone decided to go in a "different direction". Those people who make a decision like that often do so blindly. They ignore mounting evidence that the problem lies elsewhere but fail to rectify that situation because it would show that they, at one time, made a bad decision. Life is full of bad decisions but you can do right by correcting those bad decisions and bringing people together around you by showing that you listen because, let's face it, a person in power can't have their eyes everywhere all the time - they should depend on their so-called foot soldiers because those are their eyes on the ground.

Does it show weakness to admit that you were wrong? I don't think so. It shows that you're human. It shows that staying the course on one of your decisions isn't the correct path to follow. It makes you relateable.

But that strong-headedness can lead to dissent and second-guessing by those under you. Those in power need those under them to respect their decisions but also respond and act on criticism. Because without the respect of the so-called worker bees, the hive falls in to disrepair.

So there it is, do what's right, admit your mistakes, act to correct your mistakes and take responsibility for shortcomings and outright failures. Who knows, maybe I'll look back at the events of this day and admit that my snap judgment was wrong. If it was I'll gladly eat my words. I'm used to it.

As for my mistakes and the criticism I've received; I have a folder on my desk where I keep my worst design work. I wear it like a badge of honor because it is such a miniscule amount of the overall amount of work I've done but I know it's there and it reminds me that I can and have done bad work. It means I'm human and if more people were reminded of what they've done wrong they'd be further motivated to do better and strive to do right and make the right decisions.

A great decision to make is to check out the photos of Minnesota at MinnPics. I don't make one red cent from it but the photographers featured there work hard and love their craft. Show your appreciation!

The great Eggo shortage of 2009 (& 2010?)

Ah shit, we're all screwed. Forget about H1N1, R2D2, AC/DC and every other deadly combination consisting of four characters. The real deal to worry yourself sick about this winter is - wait for it - a shortage of rather bland frozen waffles.

Yes, our country is so dependent on pre-packaged, frozen crap that Kellogg's grand screw-up at a couple manufacturing plants has people in certain locales (the nation's Walmarts) hoarding Eggo frozen waffles - if these poor schmucks can get their hands on those taste-packed yellow boxes.

When I first heard of the supposed Eggo shortage yesterday, I thought it was just hype blown way out of proportion by MPR's Bob Collins simply to get a reaction out of yours truly. Well, it didn't work but then I saw more mention of it today on such reputable news sources as the Southern Illinois Catholic blog and Meck Leck (another blog) so now I'm afraid - very afraid.

What the hell will people eat for breakfast without their ultra-portable toastable Eggo waffles?

Well folks, here's a few ideas. You could have cereal, toaster strudels, Pop Tarts, a banana, an apple, toast, a crepe, pancakes, a croissant, a bagel, a biscuit or a fruit smoothie. See, stop your damn fretting about a shortage of Eggo frozen waffles and if waffles are a staple of your diet, may I suggest ponying up a few bucks and investing in a waffle iron. In the end you'll actually save money and discover a wide world of flavor possibilities. See, it really isn't worth pissing your pants over - they're just waffles...

MinnPics. Check it out if you like photos. Not just any photos but really impressive photos of Minnesota people, places and things.

FOX 9 tells us how to blog but fails

Last night I accidentally came across a news story I had actually intended to watch. It was about blogging and how to make money off of it. After watching it on FOX 9 (KMSP) last night I came away with a bit of information but a bit more bewilderment, too. Was the approximately ten-minute segment actually about blogging and what bloggers do to make cash from their writing or was it about a reporter at the TV station entering the blogosphere in an already crowded topic (mommy blogging) and putting entirely too much in the way of resources in to her effort? I am well aware of having a polished launch regardless of who may or may not be paying attention but she hired a professional photographer to take photos of her and her kids. Sure, she probably expensed it out from the station as part of the story but doesn't that cross some sort of line when it benefits you on a personal level?

The longer I watched it, the more I came to realize that Trish Van Pilsum's story was getting annoying. From the repetitive music clip (the same ten or twenty-second clip of a Postal Service song) used to the oh-so-poignant story of her dilemma of finding the proper domain name on Blogger, it was speeding down the road from mildly informative to blatant self-promotion.

I give Trish's little blogging endeavor a few months at best before she gives up on regular updates. If it's anything like most news organization's staff blogs, it will be boring and end up withering on the vine with scant few watching the death. Sure, some media staffers are extremely good at regular blogging. Those, though, are few and far between and they are damn good at what they do and follow the rules of connecting with readers/viewers and have a personality that stands out from the herd. That is where WCCO shines and KMSP fails. It helps a great deal to have that instant name recognition but, again, a personality seals the deal. Sorry Trish Van Pilsum, you have the personality of an apathetic waitress at a restaurant offering nothing but slow service and cold Campbell's condensed soup.

Your story could have been compelling but instead you opened the door to a thousand or so wannabe mommy bloggers who are all geared up to hit the big time today but will realize in two months that blogging ain't that damn easy when you don't have a TV station willing to fork over ten minutes of air during their primetime news to promote their cute little mommy blog. They'll be even more disappointed and frustrated when they find out how much a quality photographer costs as they try to replicate the touch-feely nature of Van Pilsum's blog. A few will stick it out and evolve, finding their niche. I've been doing this almost five years and the first three sucked but I like it. I work in the media world to a certain extent so I know the battles and I witness them from across the hall each and every day and even I haven't cracked that secret code of "what works" in the world of online writing.

But I do know that MinnPics has a somewhat loyal following for some reason. Maybe because it has a ton of quality photos.

Thugs in Minneapolis tape selves being jackasses

It's not the fact that the teens stupidly featured filming themselves being little pissant thugs pushing down unsuspecting walkers and bikers near the Minneapolis greenway are apparently Somali - any other race or nationality would be just as stupid for featuring their juvenile hijinks on video - it's the fact that they did it in the first place. Here's an idea: if you don't want to pigeonholed as a bunch of ingrateful little shits and troublemakers who, based on this video, seem destined for a life bouncing in and out of the jail system do something with your teenage years. Get a job. Volunteer in your community. Build some goodwill.

But the problem goes beyond just that. I'm guilty of it too but I prefer, in my daily business, to deal with people whose accents aren't so thick that I can't understand what they are saying. Chalk it up to my hurried lifestyle or the fact that, even though my grandpa himself was an immigrant from Denmark and probably faced at least some level of discrimination, I harbor at least some level of racism. There are bad apples in every racial or nationality group but the little pricks in this video made the ultimate mistake. They outed themselves for the world to see just how damn stupid they are. I hope that they are punished for what they did and I hope that this serves as a wake-up call for these kids and doesn't leave them further resenting the culture of Minnesota which they likely feel that they are outcasts in.

If you want something less controversial, check out MinnPics. A photographic tour through all corners of Minnesota that's open 24 hours/day.

Belts of America

For many decades, portions of America have been identified by various "belts". These are large geographic areas of the country which share similar characteristics relating to geography, climate, inhabitants and a whole host of other items.

The accompanying graphic is by no means a comprehensive rundown of but I've done my research. Feel free to add other "belt" suggestions in the comments.
Then head to MinnPics later to see the freshest in Minnesota photography.

(11:10 AM: The newly updated map indicates newly discovered information that it is possible to be a perverted hillbilly who dabbles in/enjoys incestuous relationships)

Sammy Sosa's bleached face and why Minnesota is better

Disgraced former Chicago Cubs slugger and steroid user Sammy Sosa seems to have Michael Jacksonitis. Yep, Sosa's once rather dark skin is moving towards that of a sun-deprived Irishman.

The fact that he's now basically two shades away from an albino leads to a ton of questions. Was Sammy Sosa involved in a bleach accident? Did Sosa vacation at some sort of reverse tanning spa/resort? Is Sammy Sosa trying to distance himself from his own race? Has his own race shunned him to the extent that he has to go find his own race because they don't want him any more?









Or, the more likely question, does his recently lightened pigmentation have something to do with his prolonged use of steroids? That particular reason is one of many which, in the 1990s, lead me to abandon baseball. I used to be a huge baseball (and basketball) fan. I even subscribed to The Sporting News back when it was a weekly newspaper. When it moved towards a magazine I quickly dumped it but the damage had already been done to my favorite sports. The players got greedier and the owners got greedier. Both major league baseball and the NBA had strikes or lockouts which ruined entire seasons.

When the greed of pro sports meant that the World Series was cancelled one year and another year the NBA played a severely shortened season, I was quickly done with it all. Sure, after the turn of the century I was back to going to Minnesota Twins baseball games but it's only because the Minnesota Twins players don't show their greed. They play for much less than they would make with other teams and the Minnesota Twins were mostly absent from baseball's steroid era of the 1990s but this also meant that they were overlooked for about a decade as roided up jackasses like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds broke homerun records year after year while their testicles shriveled to the size of tiny raisins.

And where has all that greed and steroid use gotten those players? They are no longer in the game and many view those 1990s and early 21st century homerun records as false. They are tainted and the game is as well. And douchebags like Sammy Sosa are unemployed and flaunting his freakishly lightened skintone prompting nobodies like me to jump to conclusions, ask questions and remember why I'll only cheer for the Minnesota Twins today.

It's because things are in fact simpler here in Minnesota. That's what makes MinnPics unique too, a few photos about Minnesota each day taken by Minnesotans who love the state. Check it out today.

Worst video editing job ever

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Note to Fox News: If you want to inflate the number of attendees at a rally using video, at least try to match the clips when it's blatantly obvious that they are from completely different seasons. Nice work by Jon Stewart's crack team of researchers on finding this insane attempt at driving home the message that Fox News is determined to deliver to its legion of viewers.

Is innovation dead?

It's a vague question but in the current rather dire times where the economy seems to be stuck in neutral and you're supposed to "just be happy you have a job at all" it seems that innovation has taken a back seat to survival. When's the last time something at your place of employment was truly an innovation? When was the last time you saw truly innovative programming on one of the big four television networks?

Think about that last one for a minute. This is the year that gave us a second NCIS series on CBS. We were given a spinoff of the animated Family Guy series on FOX. NBC generously gave us a burned out and stale Jay Leno 90 minutes earlier and without a damn desk. ABC even dug up a series from the 80s and re-imagined it - and "V" is back again tonight, it's probably the one retread I actually like. They claim survival is the reason and that this is "what people actually want" but if they were actually in touch they'd know what we truly want or that we're only watching some of those rather pathetic offerings because it's the best of the worst. If they hadn't gone through multiple decades of greed and sure cash, they'd be more willing to innovate.

But it doesn't stop with television. Innovation seems to have come to a standstill in all forms of traditional venues. Radio, outside of The Current locally, sucks. Hell, saying that radio sucks is being generous. Radio, in all its sameness from sea to plastic-filled sea, is less innovative today than it was a decade ago and that's quite a feat.

Most of the blame for the sameness and lack of innovation from traditional venues is placed squarely on the internet. Yes, the internet is a great venue to try an idea for next to nothing in terms of monetary expense but the internet is also vast and can be rather tough to gain traction in terms of what could be considered a mass audience. I have found some success with MinnPics and its unique twist on a photo blog but that's even small potatoes. The big audiences, for whatever reason, still lie with those traditional venues. Maybe it's due to convenience. I can see that because the computer has yet to truly make its way in to the American living room and replace or meld with the television. That time is coming but it will take some level of innovation for a computer/TV hybrid to become mainstream. And then there's the connectivity issue - we're pretty much at the mercy, still, of the cable companies who control high speed internet access. Rather than offer truly high speed access at an affordable price, they price it high enough that it's still cheaper to shell out the bucks for cable television because streaming something full screen is jittery and full of more hiccups than Otis the drunk from good ole' Mayberry, R.F.D.

So while innovation isn't dead it is definitely being stifled by greater powers. After all, if there's money to be made on something old why on Earth would someone spend time, energy and money promoting, developing and being innovative with something new?

Speaking of new, MinnPics has some new photos posted today - even a couple discovered via Twitter. Check it out for yourself.

Who used the restroom before me?

"Wow it smells in here. I must be in the wrong restroom."

As I opened the door, I peeked around it expecting to see a graphical depiction of an elephant with the phrase "ELEPHANT" below it. Nope, it says "MEN". I'm apparently in the correct place.

"This just isn't right. There are two cans of Oust air sanitizer here, there's no reason for it to smell this terrible. It's a hate crime for any place inhabited by civilized humans to smell this bad. Did someone tape a dead fish under the counter?"

I decided to crouch down and verify the potential rotting seafood scenario. It didn't pan out.

"My skin is beginning to itch. This has to be some sort of insidious chemical attack. What kind of bastard would carry out a chemical attack on a restroom in a suburban office building?"

I investigated as much as one can investigate a 7 foot square room and found nothing out of the ordinary that would even lead one to believe that a chemical attack was underway.

"Someone must have upper-deckered in here."

Afraid to pop the cover off of the toilet tank, I hurriedly went about my business and wondered to myself, "who used the restroom before me?"

MinnPics is back after a warm Minnesota weekend with another week of stunning photos from all corners of the state.

Project Runway sends the Minnesotan home

I won't say that I've watched the entire season of "Project Runway" on Lifetime because I haven't. I have, however, watched the final fifteen minutes or so of each episode because it always amazes me who gets "aufed" by Heidi Klum and her band of fashionistas.

Chris Straub, or Shakopee as I call him (because he's from Shakopee, MN - represent!) did amazingly well early in the competition. He actually won the first competition and I was excited to see that someone from Minnesota - especially the suburbs - was recognized for their creative skills. Then, as the series went on, Straub seemed to be strung along. His work wasn't terrible but the judges consistently billed it as such but kept him in the competition. It seemed almost mean for Heidi Klum and her band of fashion divas to keep Shakopee's Chris Straub on the show as they kept berating his designs. He was a near-permanent fixture in the show's bottom two or three designers.

I hoped that Straub was being strung along for a good reason. Hopefully they realized that he had immense potential. I rarely saw huge negatives in Straub's designs but maybe I'm just a homer who hates seeing the home team lose.

Then last night, on the final episode before "Project Runway's" big Bryant Park Fashion Week finale, Chris Straub was eliminated. The judges sent two designers packing leaving three young women to duke it out in New York City on next week's episode. So for many months now Shakopee's home town deisgner has been working away in the basement of his townhome - which us graphic designers in my office have determined the general location of - creating new fashion trends on his own. The difference is that he now has a significant amount of national television exposure to help his career. Something tells me that he'll be alright.

If you are fond of Minnesotans and all things Minnesota, check out MinnPics to tour Minnesota via photographs.

Jails vs. Schools: which one benefits society?

Back in my old hometown of Austin, MN the school levy referendum failed. It would have raised taxes $84/yr on a $100,000 home. To many, any additional money paid in taxes is too much but this is the same city that approved the construction of a $30,000,000 jail/justice center shared by the city and county. In contrast, the school levy referendum would have provided the school district with just over $1,000,000/yr. in additional operating funds.

Which of the two - schools or a jail - benefits society more in the long run? Schools prepare the next generation for jobs. Those buildings need to be stocked with equipment and teachers who are at the top of their game - they need to be of the highest quality and the best of the best. Schools serve the children of everyone and everyone who has ever reached the age of five has benefitted from schools - the majority benefitting from public schools which are taxpayer funded.

Then there are jails. They are filled with people who didn't see the value or need to abide by our city, state or nation's laws. They are arrested, booked and placed in jail. Some go to trial while many serve their time and consider it their debt to society for doing wrong. In either case, they stay in these buildings on the taxpayer's dime. I see no reason why a jail needs to provide anything beyond the most basic of necessities. The simple fact that jails have televisions anywhere inside them is nothing short of excessive to me. I don't care if the televisions are for employees, visitors, stray cats or those who are locked up - a television is a luxury and is unnecessary if you are being punished for a crime. And housing law breakers in a $30,000,000 building is so far beyond excessive that I can't even think of words for it.

Why do we feel the need to spend $30,000,000 on a building to house criminals when there are millions and millions of square feet of warehouse and commercial space sitting vacant? Is our government so spend happy that even those who many see as the bottom rung of society need a special building to live in at the expense of others? How many cities and counties require their inmates to actually work doing something while they serve their time? I know for certain that in Scott County (Minnesota) the inmates spend every waking hour indoors at the jail. To some the simple fact that they are not allowed outdoors adds to the punishment but I feel that working to pay your debt to society builds more character and could actually lead to a better place for them down the road than sitting around for days on end doing little to nothing.

Yes, inmates, prisoners, criminals - whatever you choose to call them - sit in relative luxury doing nothing while our schools who are asking for far, far less in the way of operating funds have to do without. They do without modern computers and they do without the best teachers because the best teachers realize that they can make more money in private schools.

So, which one - jails or schools - would you rather have your tax dollars spent on?

After you ponder that question, check out the equally compelling MinnPics and take a photographic journey through Minnesota.

Christmas comes AFTER Thanksgiving

It's apparently Christmas. I found this out yesterday as I sprinted through the local Target store for a bag of cat food. I realized it was Christmas yesterday, November 2nd, because Christmas had relentlessly vomited across from the general area of the pet supplies. Christmas had vomited so much, in fact, that it was running in to the area where the Halloween candy and remaining costumes had been relegated to. I knew it was coming because after the back-to-school supplies disappeared in the second week of September a back-wall aisle popped up entirely full of Christmas goods.

Yes, Christmas had in fact been lurking inside the walls of Target since early September and I hate that.

It's not that I hate Christmas. Entirely the opposite, in fact. I love Christmas. My house is that house during the month of December. I deck it out classily in white Christmas lights and a Santa's Village scene because it makes kids smile and I don't mind freezing my ass off dragging all of that stuff out from the basement each year. I just don't display all of my Santa-riffic goodnes suntil an appropriate time. The day after Thanksgiving. In case retailers and shoppers everywhere have forgotten, Thanksgiving celebrates the day that the pilgrims and Native Americans sat down and shared a bountiful meal in celebration of the year's harvest. We celebrate it on the final Thursday of November. Then the next day we feverishly plow full-on in to Christmas mere hours later but at least Thanksgiving gets its moment in the spotlight.

Well, at least it used to. I can understand and even tolerate retailers having Christmas displays up shortly after Halloween. It's big business and those advertising dollars that retailers spend keep my bills paid. But if we can find time to recognize such stupid crap as Administrative Professionals Day then Thanksgiving deserves its own space and time without being whored up by the commercialism that is Christmas.

That means no Christmas music - no matter what - before Thanksgiving dinner is over.
Don't turn your Christmas lights on until the day after Thanksgiving.
Decorate the inside of your house whenever you damn well please but be aware that others will ridicule you for having garland and tinsel adorning your home on November 10th.
Keep indoor Christmas decor away from windows visible from outdoors until after Thanksgiving.
Turn off outdoor and dismantle indoor Christmas displays by January 2nd. A grace period of three days is available if you partied like it was 1999 on New Year's Eve.

All I'm saying is that holidays don't overlap. Keep them separate and if KOOL 108 or Lite FM start spinning Christmas music this year before Thanksgiving is over I am going to drive to their respective studios (closets with a computer inside) and smash that Christmas computer into tiny bits fit for decorating the station's Christmas tree.

I also promise to keep MinnPics seasonally appropriate. The photos of Minnesota will always be pleasant and compelling and rarely induce anger.

Fitness clubs as a status symbol

Everyone has some awareness about status symbols. We see the douchebag sporting personalized license plates driving a Mercedes Benz fast enough to both get noticed and pulled over. We see someone wearing a $300 t-shirt but only because they casually mention its cost in conversation at a louder-than-normal volume. Then there are less obvious status symbols. Take gyms and fitness centers for example.

In the past five years the Twin Cities area has experienced a huge boom in fitness clubs. The original full-service gym - Northwest Athletic Club - is a piece of history. It's been replaced by the far more prestigious Lifetime Fitness Club. Around these parts Lifetime is sort of the gold standard for full-service gyms. Older stalwarts such as Gold's Gym are trying to make inroads but they are facing the Rainbow Foods situation - it's difficult to change habits of Minnesotans and Gold's Gym has that image of roided up weightlifters thanks to t-shirts from the 1980s - Lifetime Fitness is the status symbol (to me). Any place with monthly dues over $100 for one person is considered as a luxury and a status symbol by your's truly.

Of course there are a ton of other options like Anytime Fitness and Snap Fitness. A membership there is $30-$40/mo. It's not lofty but it's still not the cheapest. However, I'm willing to bet that the equipment at these strip mall fitness clubs is at least similar to the equipment found by the status symbol seekers who populate Lifetime Fitness. The cheapest that I've seen in the fitness club game is a strip mall outlet in Excelsior or Shorewood - somewhere along Highway 7 on the south shore - advertising $9/month memberships. That, for me, is the price where it negates having your own elliptical trainer taking up precious space in your basement or home office.

The final piece of the fitness game puzzle is the community aspect. Most cities have a community center or YMCA. The community centers are generally rather cheap for monthly memberships. The thing they lack is exclusivity. The memberships are affordable enough that Joe and Jane Average can afford a family membership. Their 2.5 kids are busy with swimming lessons and they are going to ride home together in their 2002 Dodge Caravan minivan. The only difference is that they live just a block away from Doug Douchebag and his 2009 Mercedes Benz. So who's the one living life with a bunch of status symbols?

I, for one, am happy with the occasional run through town and time training on my Wii Fit and driving one of our two Toyotas.

I'm also happy curating MinnPics. The amount of amazing photography from Minnesotans is shocking and deserving of your attention. Check it out today.