Minneapolis - St. Paul daytime TV schedules

Minneapolis - St. Paul daytime TV schedules

WUCW Channel 23
8:30 AM Inside Edition
9:00 AM The Jeremy Kyle Show (NEW SERIES)
10:00 AM Jerry Springer
11:00 AM Maury
 12:00 PM Judge Mathis
1:00 PM We the People With Gloria Allred
1:30 PM We the People With Gloria Allred
2:00 PM The People's Court
3:00 PM Dr. Drew's Lifechangers
3:30 PM Dr. Drew's Lifechangers
4:00 PM The Steve Wilkos Show
5:00 PM Maury
6:00 PM Family Feud
6:30 PM Family Feud

WUCW channel 23 adds only one new series to its daytime line-up -- The Jeremy Kyle Show -- while tabloid "news" magazine show "Inside Edition" gets thrown to the dogs with an 8:30 AM timeslot in a vote of no confidence.

KARE Channel 11
 7:00 AM Today
11:00 AM KARE 11 Today
12:00 PM Days of our Lives
1:00 PM Rachael Ray
2:00 PM The Doctors
3:00 PM The Dr. Oz Show
4:00 PM KARE 11 News at 4pm
4:30 PM Jeopardy!
5:00 PM KARE 11 News at 5
5:30 PM NBC Nightly News
6:00 PM KARE 11 News at 6
6:30 PM Entertainment Tonight

KARE 11 sees absolutely no changes to its daytime lineup as the Minneapolis TV station begins its daytime lineup with five solid hours of talk / news.

WFTC Channel 29
 8:00 AM Law & Order: Criminal Intent
9:00 AM America's Court With Judge Ross
9:30 AM America's Court With Judge Ross
10:00 AM Judge Judy
10:30 AM Judge Judy
11:00 AM Judge Joe Brown
11:30 AM Judge Joe Brown
12:00 PM Divorce Court
12:30 PM Divorce Court
1:00 PM Law & Order: Criminal Intent
2:00 PM The Wendy Williams Show
3:00 PM The Ricki Lake Show (NEW SERIES)
4:00 PM Everybody Loves Raymond
4:30 PM Everybody Loves Raymond
5:00 PM The Simpsons
5:30 PM Family Guy
6:00 PM Two and a Half Men
6:30 PM The Big Bang Theory

WFTC (My 29) channel 29 adds only "The Ricki Lake Show" to its daytime schedule which is otherwise littered with court shows, a couple of Law & Order: Criminial Intent repeats and a mish-mash of sitcom / animated comedy repeats. I've now gone about five years since even stopping my TV's remote on WFTC.

KMSP Channel 9
 7:00 AM FOX 9 Morning News at 7AM
8:00 AM FOX 9 Morning News at 8AM
9:00 AM FOX 9 News: Morning Buzz
10:00 AM Anderson Live
11:00 AM The Wendy Williams Show
12:00 PM The Ricki Lake Show
1:00 PM TMZ
1:30 PM Dish Nation
2:00 PM Anderson Live
3:00 PM Judge Alex
3:30 PM Judge Alex
4:00 PM Judge Judy
4:30 PM Judge Judy
5:00 PM FOX at 5
5:30 PM FOX at 5:30
6:00 PM FOX at 6
6:30 PM TMZ

KMSP (FOX 9) channel 9 has a court show-heavy schedule much like its sister station WFTC. They also air both The Wendy Williams Show and The Ricki Lake Show which can be seen at different times on WFTC channel 29. They do, though, add the revamped Ander Cooper talker "Anderson Live".

KSTC channel 45
 7:00 AM 45 News Morning
8:00 AM 45 News Morning
9:00 AM America's Funniest Home Videos
10:00 AM Roseanne
10:30 AM Roseanne
11:00 AM Coach
11:30 AM Coach
12:00 PM Steve Harvey
1:00 PM To Be Announced
1:30 PM Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
2:00 PM The Andy Griffith Show
2:30 PM The Andy Griffith Show
3:00 PM That '70s Show
3:30 PM That '70s Show
4:00 PM Frasier
4:30 PM Frasier
5:00 PM Rules of Engagement
5:30 PM Rules of Engagement
6:00 PM The King of Queens
6:30 PM The King of Queens

Unless you're in love with sitcoms fom 15-20 years ago, KSTC channel 45's daytime television schedule isn't for you. With the only new programming being KSTC's rehashing of Minneapolis / St. Paul news for two hours to begin the daytime schedule and Steve Harvey's talk show, KSTC seems targeted to a few generations older than myself.

KSTP channel 5
 7:00 AM Good Morning America
9:00 AM Live! With Kelly
10:00 AM The View
11:00 AM 5 Eyewitness News Midday
12:00 PM The Chew
1:00 PM General Hospital
2:00 PM Katie
3:00 PM Twin Cities Live
4:00 PM Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
4:30 PM 5 Eyewitness News at 4:30
5:00 PM 5 Eyewitness News Live at 5
5:30 PM ABC World News With Diane Sawyer
6:00 PM 5 Eyewitness News at 6
6:30 PM 5 Eyewitness News at 6:30

By the time September 10th happens, it will be official that Live! with Kelly (Ripa) will be paired with Michael Strahan and his huge gap between his front teeth. The only big addition to KSTP channel 5's daytime television schedule is Katie Couric's new daytime talk show which bumps ABC's last daytime soap, General Hospital, an hour earlier.

WCCO channel 4
 7:00 AM CBS This Morning
9:00 AM The Jeff Probst Show
10:00 AM The Price Is Right
11:00 AM The Young and the Restless
12:00 PM WCCO 4 News at Noon
12:30 PM The Bold and the Beautiful
1:00 PM The Talk
2:00 PM Let's Make a Deal
3:00 PM Dr. Phil
4:00 PM The Ellen DeGeneres Show
5:00 PM WCCO 4 News at Five
5:30 PM CBS Evening News With Scott Pelley
6:00 PM WCCO 4 News at Six
6:30 PM Wheel of Fortune

CBS affiliate WCCO makes only one change to its daytime television schedule. With Anderson Cooper's talk show out, The Jeff Probst Show takes over the 9:00 AM slot on the Minneapolis station.

Kelsey Soby - Fox 9 Minneapolis - Dance-Off videos

Apparently every Friday, towards the end of the Fox 9 Morning News the anchors / personalities / staff pull out their best or worst dance moves for the Fox 9 Friday Dance-Off segment. Having never seen this live as I am well in to my work day by that time of the morning I have found a number of Fox 9 Friday Dance-Off video compilations - most of which feature traffic reporter Kelsey Soby who has the best moves by far of the morning news team at KMSP-TV.




























Is Kelsey Soby the traffic reporter in Minneapolis / St. Paul who is easiest on the eyes? What about her dance moves - good, bad, other? And what about the Fox 9 Morning News program as a whole? Does it need more dancing to fill out the 5 and half hour-long program?

FOX fall 2012-13 schedule

The FOX fall 2012-13 schedule has been officially released and while I like that three of their four comedies on Tuesday night (I've never been a fan of "Raising Hope") either sound or are truly solid shows and their Monday night schedule of the veteran "Bones" and newcomer "The Mob Doctor" should be a solid duo ("The Mob Doctor" stars Jordana Spiro previously of "My Boys" on TBS) I don't like the network's extremely heavy reliance on singing competitions.

American Idol did produce legitimate singers who went on to have solid careers - about 7 years ago - but the show is growing old. Ryan Seacrest must be on autopilot by this point and the judges are still a bunch of has-beens - only now they're has-beens who have nothing bad to say to the contestants. Seriously, most of these contestants need a heavy dose of reality - they will never amount to music stars. Sorry to dash your dreams Idol contestants but this show is all about the ratings now - making a star out of someone isn't even on the back burner, it's still in the box in a warehouse nearing its expiration date.

As for The X-Factor, that show is a non-starter. If it produces a legitimate, everyone knows this person's name kind of star, I'll shave my head, eyebrows and legs and wear a dress for a month because I know it won't produce a household name type of singing star. It just doesn't happen anymore. FOX's heavy reliance (3 hours each week nearly every week of the TV season?!?) will eventually knock them down. At least I hope so. But the tastes of the television viewing public are utter garbage so this trash sticks around.

Anyhow, below is the FOX fall 2012-13 schedule. Again, their timid slate of three new shows for the fall season is solid and should put them in second place behind CBS once again.

MONDAY:
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-10:00 PM THE MOB DOCTOR (new)

TUESDAY:
8:00-8:30 PM RAISING HOPE
8:30-9:00 PM BEN AND KATE (new)
9:00-9:30 PM NEW GIRL
9:30-10:00 PM THE MINDY PROJECT (new)
THE GOODWIN GAMES (new) joins in midseason.

WEDNESDAY:
8:00-10:00 PM THE X FACTOR (fall) / AMERICAN IDOL (midseason)

THURSDAY:
8:00-9:00 PM THE X FACTOR Results (fall) / AMERICAN IDOL Results (midseason)
9:00-10:00 PM GLEE

FRIDAY:
8:00-9:00 PM TOUCH
9:00-10:00 PM FRINGE (fall)
HELL’S KITCHEN returns in midseason.

SATURDAY:
7:00-10:30 PM FOX SPORTS SATURDAY (fall)
COPS returns in midseason.
ANIMATION DOMINATION HIGH-DEF (new) will join late-prime in 2013.

SUNDAY:
7:00-7:30 PM NFL Game (fall) / ANIMATION DOMINATION (encores)
7:30-8:00 PM THE OT (fall) / THE CLEVELAND SHOW
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM BOB’S BURGERS
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

Avoid The X Factor at all costs

Yippee. Tonight is the debut of some singing show called The X Factor. I hear that it features some British guy named SImon Cowell. He apparently used to be at the front of some other singing show entitled American Idol. Apparently both of these singing shows are on some American television network named FOX and center around people's dreams coming true or being crushed when it comes to their vocal prowess.

Alright. I can't actually pretend not to know what either if these shows are but I can honestly say I only watched the very first season of American Idol which produced the only true pop star from the series (Kelly Clarkson) but The X Factor is different. Simon Cowell will let his dickish self shine through. He is free to be an utter prick to kids as young as twelve. He can sport his black tees from Baby Gap in front of the same fucking mindless drones who watch the incessant drivel that is American Idol except now people can get their weekly dose of public belittling of people who have no business singing for about nine straight months.



In short, I know that tens of millions of brain dead Americans will watch the lowest common denominator programming which The X Factor certainly is. It's a cruel program but it's also somewhat real. Sure, the producers are scouring the lines of potential contestants looking for those who are sure to embarrass themselves. They are desperate to find the person who is so oblivious to their own lack of talent that they will eagerly belt out two or three horrendously off-key lines to an already horrid pop song that Simon Cowell will be chomping at the bit to belittle this contestant who needs to be belittled but should probably be belittled in a more private setting.

Hey, I have no problem with cruel. I'm a rather cruel person but The X Factor is a semi-scripted attempt at reality competition television. If they have to show this drivel, show it uncut. That would be true reality. Show it without the producers coaching potential contestants. Show it unedited and unfiltered. It will always be edited in a way that's flattering to the judges -- particularly Simon Cowell who overflows with pretentiousness -- but I hope and pray that Americans will return to scripted television and this year is the year to do just that.

NBC actually has a solid hour of comedy tonight with Up All Night and Free Agents starting off the night and ABC has an hour both of The Middle and Modern Family tonight so ditch the shitty "reality" singing contests and appreciate the fact that creative and sharp writing teamed with legitimate actors is a superior alternative to a TV landscape littered with mindless drones looking for their fifteen minutes of fame.

The Fox News got hacked video

So, um, what kind of viral marketing is this and what movie is it for?



The commenters on YouTube are getting all political over this two-minute video but there are certain clues that are a tip-off that it's a viral video attempt for some sort of movie. It doesn't even deserve this much attention except for its high quality. Not to mention that the YouTube user -- "hiropro999" -- has posted just one video but supposedly has a second video in the works describing how he or she pulled of the supposed Fox News ticker.

As with anything of this nature, I'll believe it's a real video if the footage was captured by someone else, if a still photo surfaced and was vetted and published by a legitimate news source. Until then I'll tag it as unlikely to be legitimate.

Please avoid American Idol & TV for the next two weeks

If you are even a casual television watcher, do yourself a favor over the next two or so weeks and keep your set turned off. The TV season, for the most part, has wrapped up and the next two weeks are either a string or repeats we've already seen, the season finales of series which nobody actually gives a shit about or the premiere of some rather horrid summer series which are mainly unscripted fare which is best left in the trash from which it came.

Think about the possibilities. Tonight marks the first part of the American Idol season finale on FOX. There are obviously two "singers" left on this overhyped karoake contest and there's probably a mere dozen or two die-hard fans of this groan-worthy snooze-fest that could enthusiastically rattle off the names of these perpetual nobodies. Sure, the Idol franchise has produced a few music stars during its 8 year run -- Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry and Carrie Underwood being the only contestants from the series to actually reach any level of true success -- but the series has, in my opinion, a habit of taking people who probably aren't ready for the limelight -- either in their overall lack of stage presence, being unprepared for the rigors of fame and criticism from the press or their lack of songwriting ability. In short, it's a show that tries to turn nothing in to something.

Then FOX follows up the first part of the Idol performance show tonight with the season finale of the second season of Glee. From people who watch the show, they say it's still decent but it appears that the writing staff felt they were a one-and-done and had little in the way of story to write anything even remotely conherent and compelling for a second season. Maybe it's time that some series just admitted that they'd be best at following the limited run model of British TV series and pull the plug after twenty or thirty episodes. Tell a great story, pack each episode with compelling plot elements and wrap up a story in a defined period of time. Glee, though, will probably drag on for another year or two before it's put out if its misery.

The rest of the next two weeks, though is shit. Wednesday has an overly bloated and sensationalized American Idol finale in which viewers will wait through 53 minutes of an hour with Ryan Seacrest stalling, shilling for Cocal-Cola and Ford only to find out that their personal favorite karoake star didn't win a record contract that will force the winner to churn out a really shitty CD and return to obscurity by October.

Even The Voice, airing at 9 PM C/T on NBC tonight and next Tuesday until moving to 8 PM C/T on June 7th, is beginning to slip a bit. It's still the most innovative and original singing contest on TV and the mentors are actually currently relevant personalities but without Tim Mahoney, the show has lost its appeal to me.

Oh well, at least I have a couple more seasons of Dexter to watch and that should take up a month or two of those pre-bedtime hours during the summer months. I'd recommend you do the same.

FOX new fall series

Overall, FOX has a fairly strong line-up and a couple of shows I'm actually looking forward to watching. Terra Nova looks extremely compelling but is also very high concept and heavily serialized meaning miss an episode and you're totally lost and the high concept part of it makes me think that much of the concept of the series will go over people's heads. However, I do feel like it has the possibility of gaining an extremely loyal fan base if FOX allows Terra Nova to run interrupted for 13 consecutive weeks.

New Girl, starring Zooey Deschanel, looks like it could be a movie based on the production values and that, along with Deschanel starring in it, is what has me wanting to see this series play out. It seems like a fish out of water comedy with a heart of gold -- both sides, Deschanel's character Jess and her new three male roommates -- bettering each other in different ways and being there to pick each other up. I pray that it doesn't go to the extreme sappy side of things but I don't think it would work if it were full of cheap, easy prat falls.

The video previews are below.

Terra Nova

Mondays 7 PM C/T

New Girl

Tuesdays 8 PM C/T

I Hate my Teenage Daughter

Wednesdays 8:30 PM C/T

Allen Gregory

Sundays 7:30 PM C/T

Simon Cowell's X Factor tries to silence The Voice

The timing of Simon Cowell announcing his rather lackluster judging panel for the American debut of The X Factor debuting on FOX this fall is convenient. The smug British bastard is a master of timing, publicity and manipulation. While still at the helm of American Idol, he shook things up with the departure of the constantly drunk Paula Abdul and the addition of Ellen Degeneres and that other woman whose name nobody can remember (Karen Dioguardi).

Apparently d Paula Abdul was ditched from Idol a couple years back for no other reason than for her to be a free agent when it came time for Cowell to Americanize The X Factor. But with a judge panel consisting of record producer L.A. Reid, British X Factor  judge Cheryl Cole who is a nobody here in the states and experienced judge and laughingstock Paula Abdul, The X Factor seems rather bland. Where's the gimmick? At least NBC's The Voice has blind auditions and "mentors" (Blake Shelton, Cee Lo Green, Adam Levine and Christina Aguilera) who area t least recognizable names to the target audience. While I don't expect The Voice to do even remotely well when it premieres tomorrow (Tuesday) at 8 PM C/T on NBC, I don't think the announcement of Cowell's latest batch of judges is going to seal its fate.

Both shows are essentially the same and they both are copies of American Idol which itself is a hyped-up version of Star Search done in the vein of a classy karoake competition. If I want to see people singing along to songs I already know, I'll stroll a few blocks and catch karoake night at the neighborhood bar. But if I want to see carbon copies of singing shows, I'll watch both American Idol and The X Factor because from an outsider's perspective they are both the same and both shows are utter garbage. Hell, even the local county fair has a singing contest and at least there I don't have to witness smug pricks past their prime judging the singing.

If I had a gun to my head and had to choose, I'd say that NBC's The Voice has the edge when it comes to originality but it also has a significant handicap -- it's on NBC. If I had to choose one of the three to watch, I'd put a bullet in my TV and finally admit that TV has run its course as a viable form of entertainment.

Fringe coming back next year to FOX

Not only is Fringe, one of my favorite dramas on television, coming back for a ratehr unexpected fourth season to FOX this fall, it's doing so with a new character. Emily Meade, who was most recently on HBO's The Wire, will play a rookie FBI agent on the sci-fi drama in the show's season finale this May in what will likely be a recurring role.

The big one-two punch of a new possible lead character for Fringe coupled with the show getting a full fourth season order is surprising. Fringe has never been much in the way of a ratings blockbuster. It's been shuffled around the schedule by FOX and recently landed in the 8 PM C/T Friday night time slot. That's faily hideous treatment for a well produced drama that seems to be a dying breed on network television.

With police and medical procedurals being the norm, I didn't think that a lowly rated sci-fi drama about strange happenings and an alternate universe much like our own had a chance. With TV viewers far more interested in watching average schmucks be jackasses (Jersey Shore) and glorified karaoke contests like American Idol bringing in huge ratings and advertising dollars, I was beginning to doubt whether quality television which requires you to pay attention and think -- opening your mind to things that might possibly be real somewher ein the future -- had a place on the airwaves.

FOX has proven me wrong today. Let's hope that they follow through with the full season (22 episodes) in 2011-2012

What happened over the weekend?

FOX has postponed their sci-fi drama epic "Terra Nova" ... again. Originally scheduled to premiere right about this time of year, it was then moved to premiere after the American Idol finale this spring it has now moved to a fall 2011 premiere. While it's been hyped beyond belief I have my doubts now if it will ever make it to the air and if it does I can see it lasting just a hair longer than "Lonestar" did during the fall 2010 season (2 episodes).

Greedy NFL owners have locked out overpaid NFL players. It happened just after the late local news on Friday night which means that nobody actually found out until this morning anyway. Way to bury a huge story about the country's most successful business possibly losing the 2011 season.

There's still hope that new TV shows can be good. Check out "Nick's Big Show" and then imagine the main character in a possible new NBC sitcom this fall entitled "I Hate That I Love You".

Bob's Burgers had me at "itchy crotch"

Last night saw the series premiere of yet another animated comedy on FOX. When I first heard of this series nearly a year ago my first thought was "Oh, great. Another animated comedy. What mundane "Family Guy" character are they spinning off now?" But as I learned more about "Bob's Burgers" I warmed to the concept.

Think of it as a workplace comedy centered around a family. Right there the show's creators managed to meld two of the most tried and true sitcom concepts together into one genre which I don't recall having been done before. Right there they had an original concept.

From the first scene I was laughing. The series is one of the most politically incorrect shows in recent memory but it crosses the line without being deranged like "Family Guy" does. With a daughter which a sibling identified as "the worst kind of autistic" to jokes about the restaurant's burgers containing more than the allowable 4% ratio of human flesh and that was what the first episode centered around the pilot episode could easily be described as raucous -- right down to the opening joke about the autistic daughter openly stating that she had an itchy crotch.

Couple that with well thought out sight gags including a bus load of tourists hell-bent on obtaining one of these supposedly human flesh burgers at any cost and a customer who bought "The Molester" -- a burger that comes with candy -- who truly did fit the image of a child molester and "Bob's Burgers" was a twenty minute string of laughs which were well written and far from cheap and expected.

"Bob's Burgers" has a great start and fits well following "The Simpsons" which itself seems to have stepped up its game after twenty or so seasons. If the writers can keep the momentum up and FOX doesn't fuck the show up by shuffling its time period, this is yet another animated winner well worth watching at 7:30 PM on Sunday on FOX.

I watch too much TV

Momentum. It's all about forward progress, right? Well, what happens when you break that momentum?

The best people to ask would be the television executives of America. In some of my daily reading I do to prep for my TV blog I came across the story about "Fringe" on Fox airing its final episode of the year tonight. The show will then return January 14 for four episodes then go on hiatus again until April 1. Factor in, too, that "Fringe" took a three or so week break back in October for baseball coverage and that adds up to three rather lengthy hiatus periods.

The model of stretching 20-24 episodes from mid-September to mid-May doesn't work. My math says that adds up to about 36-37 weeks of the calendar year - leaving 12-17 weeks open. At the large end of that spectrum, that leaves enough weeks to air a full (but somewhat short) season of a second entirely different series. Sure, it would cost a fair amount of money to do so but wouldn't well-written, well-acted, original (and hopefully scripted) programming play out better than repeats and wouldn't airing all of the episodes of any given show in succession better satisfy fans and lead to a more intense fan base?

While "Lost" on ABC may not be the best example, the producers and executives finally figured out that a somewhat shorter season and a definitive endpoint to the series would satisfy fans and only serve to intensify the fandom of the series. "Lost" airs its episodes in succession without repeats or breaks and it works because it builds momentum and excitement. Viewers and their short attention spans don't forget about the plot because the show airs every week at the same time with no breaks for viewers to forget the plot. It also frees up half of the year in that particular timeslot for ABC to air other programming. It allows ABC to experiment to a certain degree with what may or may not work in terms of programming and scheduling. It's partly the reason why ABC has experienced a rebirth of sorts in the past decade.

The exact opposite reason is why NBC has fallen deep in to the shitter. They routinely have shows on hiatus for weeks at time - and viewers not only forget the storyline of the show but also forget that it even exists. That forgetfulness shows, too. The only shows I religiously tune in to on NBC are their Thursday comedies. They've improved this year over last year and it's become appointment viewing for me. But that's the exception for me.

I prefer the continuous scheduling model but I'm curious what others think. Do you care or have you given up and switched what TV watching you do to cable channels?

If you want visual stimulation, check out the killer photos of Minnesota on MinnPics.

They mystique of who will win American Idol

I don't care who will win American Idol. There, that's out of the way. In fact, I don't even know the names of one single contestant on this season's floundering show. More perplexing to me than why people watch these kids sing only to have a British dick in a tight shirt tear them down and leave them just short of tears. What makes me most curious is why it will take 2 hours and 7 minutes tonight to unveil the "winner" of this sham of a contest. And on the anger side, a TV network (FOX) who bases their entire operation around one franchise series is not a network. Really, they juggle their entire schedule to fit in four hours of this manufactured drama each week at the beginning of the season.

Now before you get all preachy and say that this show makes dreams come true, let's see just how many legitimate stars this crapfest has actually produced. The first season (which I actually watched) made Kelly Clarkson a household name. Beyond her actual career, only Carrie Underwood has actually attained some level of success and time will tell if she can follow up her initial success or if she fades into obscurity like Fantasia Barrino, Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks. Jordin Sparks and David Cook's true fate remains to be seen as both have done something but are definitely not breakout stars because one song does not a star make.

So, tonight's eighth season finale will crown yet another teen whose dreams of stardom are tied to a heavily leveraged recording deal in which Simon Cowell's record label essentially owns their soul and will do little to promote their efforts beyond an initial single which will receive boatloads of Top 40 radio airplay between now and the end of the year until being discarded as another has been.

Does this sound accurate?

My thoughts on Hell's Kitchen

Why do people seek the approval of the angriest, meanest, strictest, lowest lifeforms? That's the question I kept asking myself as I accidentally watched Hell's Kitchen on FOX. These supposedly skilled chefs feel the need to further themselves via a rather staged contest as they struggle with their obvious daddy issues and seek endless approval from Chef Gordon Ramsay who has serious rage issues and whose antics and attitude I seriously doubt would be tolerated in any workplace.

If the chefs in this competition really wish to further their careers, a better solution would be to hone your skills and advance yourself based on your work, not by seeking the approval of one very bitter man. Sadly, the semi-staged contest is a staple of "reality" television and "reality" television is becoming the norm on television these days as the once-mighty networks semeingly trade places with cable outlets and become the home of lowest common denominator.

All in all, Hell's Kitchen is, at best, background noise and I truly fail to see any hint of drama in this series and I don't see how it has lasted this long on the airwaves. I guess it's due to the fact that FOX chooses to focus on its juggernaut, American Idol, and doesn't care much about the rest of its schedule.

MinnPics is all about still images and, therefore, is better than most of the dreck on TV. Check out the awesome photos today!

Is "black ice" a racial thing?

After watching one segment of the FOX9 Morning News during breakfast, it would seem that they are attempting to portray Minnesota's cold weather battle against black ice to be racial in nature.

Was it just a coincidence that the reporter freezing her ass off outside the FOX9 studios near Interstate 494 was black? Is it some sort of conspiracy that the salt used to counteract the black ice is white?

It seems that this is another case of black versus white and the white man being led to believe that anything black should be feared. I, for one, will not stand for this injustice. Who's with me?

If racial equity is too much to handle today and you'd rather think of something warm, check out MinnPics and peruse the archives for warmer memories of days gone by.

Odd Minnesota State phenomenon #1

I'm veering away from my recent in-depth coverage of nipples and camel toe at the 2008 summer olympics in Beijing, China because I can only take some things so far. If you're disappointed, too damn bad. If you're happy, please let me know because I can get right back to beating that horse a bit more.

Today, though, I have something important to say about the Minnesota State Fair. First off, I am not going this year. Instead, I am pissing away my hard-earned money at the Renaissance Festival and I'll let you know when I plan on attending so everyone in the Twin Cities can stalk me and wonder to themselves whether or not I dress up in renaissance costume (I don't).

Alright, the Minnesota State Fair. I have two complaints about it tonight. The first, which I covered last year, is about those damned fried candy bars. Candy bars should not be soft enough to be gummed to death. They should exist in a state of solid, chocolatey goodness. If I wanted a candy bar that I could suck through a straw, I'd leave a Snickers bar on my dash while I worked a full day. Instead, spend your money on something that sounds truly disgusting, a fried carmelized 1/3 lb. strip of bacon on a stick.

Now for the second, far more important fair gripe. People that will wait to watch a newscast. Now I'm not talking about WCCO which does their entire newscast live from their outdoor studio at the fair but instead I am singling out FOX 9. Tonight, I happened to catch (on TV) their presence at the fair. It consisted only of pompous ass, meteorologist Ian Leonard and bleachers full of obnoxious, screaming kids in desperate need of both parents and a swift beating. Of course, later he showed the adults who stuck around on metal bleachers to see a three-minute weather segment.

I am not sure which group was more ridiculous but I'm not claiming to be any better. I always sit through the better part of Dan Cole the Common Man's KFAN radio show when I go to the fair. He's at least somewhat funny, has some audience participation and it's a decent place to eat lunch. Oh yeah, and it lasts longer than three minutes.

Are people so enamored by the chance to be on TV that they'll fritter away precious fair time hoping that the camera (for all 65 seconds it's on) pans across their mug as they sit all doe eyed staring at some smug jackass meteorologist that doesn't even relate well to actual humans? I can be alone, either, in soaking up some media personalities at the fair, who's your pick?

Be sure to check out MinnPics, it obviously contains photos from around Minnesota and just may be a treasure trove of State Fair photos.

Weather doesn't equal fear

Just because local TV outlets are down one so-called weather terrorist with the firing of WCCO's Paul Douglas last week it doesn't mean that fear of the weather isn't alive and well in the Twin Cities. Yes, leave it to the local ink-stained wretches at the Star-Tribune to induce weather-related fear in the meek with a prominent (at least on the web) story about how a tornado could very well barrel through downtown Minneapolis. They even went as far as to include an ominous looking photo. It almost made me wet myself. Thank God I'm sporting Depends today.
Of course their reasoning is that a tornado struck downtown Atlanta, Georgia recently killing one and injuring dozens but these damn weather terrorists are getting to be a bit much. It seems that they've cozied up to our new found culture of fear in our post-9/11 world. Maybe the real terrorists, if George Bush stops looking behind the Oval Office curtains (for those mythical WMDs), are on our TV screens m midway through our 10 PM newscasts.

Maybe I'm fed up because I actually was intrigued by a History channel show called "Mega Disasters" which featured the impending doom of a modern day dustbowl in the western states. Maybe I'm fed up because even the smallest weather events are hyped beyond all believability. The fear mongers at FOX 9 are the worst of the bunch. Or maybe I'm fed up because the weather just happens. Whether we're prepared or not, it's coming and it's always changing. Yesterday was sunny at 65 degrees and there could be snow flakes for my Monday morning commute. It happens. It changes. Be prepared, don't be afraid. And if you are afraid, I have some extra Depends.

Just don't Simpsonize me

After last weekend, I have a renewed faith in an old friend. An old gaggle of YELLOW friends to be more specific. (We saw the flick on opening weekend)

It turns out that I had lost all faith in a certain animated TV show named, appropriately enough, "The Simpsons". It seemed as if each and every possible plotline had been exhausted and that the show was just hanging around because it sure beats reruns of "Super Housewife" or "Meet my New Nanny".

Whatever the reasons for the FOX Network actually keeping a show around, it seems as if it was a good decison. Scratch that, GREAT decision.

If the next season of "The Simpsons" is half as good as "The Simpsons Movie" then I can once again be considered a fan. Yeah, it was that good.

If you've seen the commercials with Homer's newfound friend, Spiderpig (AKA Harry Plopper), you are in for a treat. The scenes with the pig, though, aren't the best in the movie by a longshot but are hilarious enough that if they were the best moments in the 87-minute flick, I'd be one happy guy who is now anxiously awaiting the next season of "The Simpsons".